March 13, 2004
Partial Recovery From Methamphetamine-Induced Brain Damage

Gene-Jack Wang of Brookhaven National Laboratories (also assistant professor of radiology at SUNY Stony Brook) and coworkers used positron emission tomography (PET scans) to show only part of the damage caused by methamphetamine abuse is repaired 12 to 17 months after the end of the drug abuse.

Researchers found that former meth abusers showed improved glucose metabolism in a brain region called the thalamus after staying off the drug for 12 to 17 months.

The striatum does not appear to recover.

There was, however, no evidence of improved metabolism in a brain region called the striatum -- suggesting, researchers say, that some meth-induced brain changes are long lasting.

From the abstract of the research paper:

RESULTS: Significantly greater thalamic, but not striatal, metabolism was seen following protracted abstinence relative to metabolism assessed after a short abstinence interval, and this increase was associated with improved performance in motor and verbal memory tests. Relative to the comparison subjects, the methamphetamine abusers tested after protracted abstinence had lower metabolism in the striatum (most accentuated in the caudate and nucleus accumbens) but not in the thalamus.

Take home lesson: addictive drugs really do fry the brain and should be avoided. Not a particularly novel observation? Yes, that is true. But evidence from brain scans makes obvious truths harder to deny.

Share |      Randall Parker, 2004 March 13 05:47 PM  Brain Addiction


Comments
Nancy Lebovitz said at March 15, 2004 2:14 AM:

What's proven is that one addictive drug does long-term (permanent hasn't been demonstrated) damage. I wouldn't be surprised if some other addictive drugs, and some non-addictive drugs as well, also cause brain damage, but you're moving ahead of the evidence.

Donna J. said at April 27, 2004 6:27 PM:

I am a recovering meth addict - I have been clean for 101 days today (After 26 years of drug use) and am looking for ANY ENCOURAGING NEWS regarding recovery from methamphetamine use. Based upon what I have seen, it's a mixed bag... I am tired all the time, have gained weight, but despite the bad news I intend to continue with my recovery! Anything else you can post about recovery from meth addiction is wholly appreciated.

Jason said at May 11, 2004 12:20 PM:

what is recovery? not one day goes by that i don't have to remind myself why i'm not using. oh yeah, cause it stripped me of every ounce of self respect i had, plus a whole lot more. meth is truley evil, yet every day i fight to stay clean. where's the fun in it if it's not a struggle. sorry, i paint such a grim picture, i actually hold my head up pretty high these days. but i'll never forget my past. peace.

Alan said at July 4, 2004 7:51 PM:

I am a struggling , recovering meth addict. I have 35 days clean time thanks to God and N.A. I have gained 12 lbs in this time, I have little energy, I am scared to return to work. A lot of mixed emotions. I don't have a lot patience ( almost short fused ). I used meth for 20 years, the last 12 or 13 years pretty much daily. Somehow I have managed to remain married , my wife did not know about my addiction until 31 days ago. She has been very supportive, hurt but supportive. As far as dain bramage yeah, yeah, thats me! I have a hard time staying focused especially in conversation even if I'm the one talking.I have alot of headaches (daily)and muscle spasms . At first when I quit meth I had nightmares could not sleep more than a couple of hours at a time but they have slowed to maybe one or two a week. I can sleep almost the whole night now.I still have strong cravings for the drug, N. A. seems to really help me out as far as the cravings. Oh well , I hope this has helped someone.

Dennis said at August 25, 2004 6:49 AM:

I have been clean for eighteen months. I spent eight years using, the last four years shooting about a gram a day. I think about it all the time, but not enough to ever use again. I am a different person today, than I was about ten years ago. I find it hard to be happy about anything. I just seem to function in life. I find it hard to hold down a relationship. I just seem to bail after about six months. I have a decent job and my own place, something I have not had for a few years. I guess the hardest part of recovery for me was, waking up to knowing you are alone. You have to find all new friends in order to stay clean. Not that you really had any friends while you are using, just drug buddies. I am still proud of how far I have come! I still keep trying to live my life looking through the windshield and not the rearview mirror. But the reality is I am not proud of where I have been. I am proud of where I am going. I do know you can't get clean for anyone but yourself, not your kids, or your significant other. If you don't do it for you, you are doing it for all the wrong reasons. Everyone else will gain if you get clean for yourself.

FatFerret said at November 14, 2004 3:42 AM:

I am 47. I have been a social user on and off for 4 years, taking a year off in between. I may use 4 times a month or not for several months. I am going to stop. I don't like me when I'm using it. Will I suffer permanent damage?

Naddha Yangtze said at February 28, 2005 8:29 AM:

The first few months was cool and okay, but after when i got addicted to meth, shit went down. People did crazy things, problems, problems, how you gonna solve them? that's how it felt. i'm 15 years old and now i started going to treatment. things are better now, but Meth is an "EVIL" drug. there was so much deceiving in the crowd of meth users. evrbody now broke up and just went on their own.

Karolina said at March 2, 2005 1:36 AM:

Good for you guys, who stopped. I suffer from bulimia and have to take small dozes to dont have obsession of food. Im looking for some other medication which could help me. Is anybody know if Naltrexone could help me?

Brandon Lee said at March 11, 2005 4:48 PM:

I'ts a meloncholy outlook theese days. Four years using and 11 months clean. Although I have beat this horrible addiction, it still lives on in the horror of possible physical damage done to my body and mind that will never heal. I fight like a warrior in a daily war to beat the "bad" thoughts that perhaps are result of depleated seratonin, hopelesness, fear, lonliness, but I figure when youve beaten the using part....you are a hero already. Life may be forever changed, different mabey, but I take it with a smile, hell life is short, to lives in one is quite a deal. Much love to all those out there who have beaten this deamon, and for those who have a single doubt, this drug is designed to eat you up and spit you out. It is government controlled and there to insure that the poor masses stay the poor masses. Fight it. Please, do whatever you can to stop...please. Much love.

Sad Grandma said at March 14, 2005 1:17 PM:

My daughter is 38, used, cooked, and sold for years. She has been clean for 4 1/2 years. She quit when she got pregnant with my beautiful, smart Grandson. I support them financially since she won't go for any help and I can't stand to see my Grandson on the street. If anyone thinks that this drug just hurts the user, this family has three generations suffering, so know that meth casts a wide net.
After being clean for this long, she is still parinoid, friendless, unable to make good decisions, can't manage money, and completely refuses to get help. I have talked to every agency imaginable, but because she doesn't physically abuse her child, there isn't any action that can be taken. I kept thinking that she might get better, but so far she hasn't. Since she cooked for a long time she probably did more damage to herself then if she would have just used. I will tell you this--my girl was beautiful, bright and had every opportunity offered to her--the drug life took away every bright thing she had, and left darkness. The sooner you stop, the better chance you have for recovery. She lost her teenage years, her twenty's, soon the thirty's will be gone and for what!! For God's Sake--if you are trying to recover, get every bit of help you can. Don't let your life go. I will probably end up having to take her son away from her, it breaks my heart, but she isn't capable of raising him. I am so angry about what this hideous drug has done to all of us. Know that I am praying so hard for recovering people right now--hang on--get well--live your life--God Bless!

Can you tell me why?!?! said at March 15, 2005 1:06 AM:

Can someone please help me understand why I have to have some sort of "vice"? Yes, I was raised around drugs,knew how to cook crank for my step-dad by the time I was 10,(didn't know what I was making at the time). I can't blame it on a screwed uo childhood 'cause despite everything, my mother has always been a real mother to me. Every drug I've ever done was tried with my parents only if i was curious of it. It was never pushed on me. I know my personality is very addictive, but I hung out with friends who used occasionally & i never did anything. All of a sudden,11 yrs of living and working in an area that's a 24/7 party place, one night I did coke. Did it again 3-4 months later then before I knew it,
I'd spent 55,000 in 3 months and I was getting it free! I should have a couple of cars laying around somewhere. I guess all my new found "friends" ( whom I can't even remember) needed money and I didn't want the party to end. The love of my life
stuck with me through this (twice) and we moved to Montana (our dream). Owning a bar and bartending makes it really easy to get what you want it. I know what to look for, he was raised by the "cleavers" & is clueless. I've turned down alot. So why did I try meth? Got me. I've tried it before, but coke was my thing. Now I've been using meth since oct.2004. Even though I see what it's done to my sister who I put through rehab 6 times and haven't seen or heard from her in 5 years. Why do I hurt the people I love the most & will go out of my way to help anyone else! I 'm married to the most wonderful man alive & he loves me. He isn't going to put up with me much longer. Sad thing is , I'm making this decision for him. I've been caught twice in the last 2 months and I still do it!!! What is wrong with me? I never used, never smoked, barely drank, now I'm not me anymore and I can't remember who I was or how to get me back. Sorry for rambleing. I had to talk to someone.

What changed me? No one to balme but myself.
Thanks,
mississippi in montana

Martin said at April 1, 2005 7:12 PM:

i am a recovered meth user. I used for five years and one day while making a buy, I nearly got busted in a raid, I made a promise to myself that If I got away with it I would never do it again..so I quit cold turkey and have never looked back!!! I have been clean now for about a year and I must say that it has been way worth it, being clean is so much better!!!! If you stay focused and stay off meth your body starts to recover and you start to feel more down to earth and your mind just starts thinking so much better!!! if you have quit meth you know that withdrawl sympotoms, think of them as punishment for ever using the drug and accept withdrawl, the struggLE goes away soon.........REMEMBER METH SUCKS AND ITS A HARMFUL DRUG! AND BEING CLEAN IS BETTER

Karen said at April 12, 2005 3:00 PM:

I'm looking for information on meth recovery rates. There is a lot of information that says no one ever recovers and I know that is not true because my nephew got treatment and hasn't used for over 4 years now. He had been addicted to meth for 15 years. I ran across this site and see many stories of people who have also quit. Can anyone point me to research studies that show successful recovery rates for meth users after they have participated in treatment??
Thanks,
Karen

L said at April 14, 2005 11:49 PM:

For Karen: I don't know exactly how long one must remain clean to be considered "recovered", but my neighbor who has a PhD and conducts drug and alcohol studies for a living said that the recovery rate (in California) for meth use is only 8%. Fewer than one in ten folks can kick this stuff. My ex kicked it for 6+ years but returned when a stressful event occured in his life. I guess everyone is different.
L

This Isnt who i am said at April 25, 2005 6:23 PM:

I am a freshman in college and fresh out of being a highschool athlete where everyone thought i had it all. HOwever i come to college and start hanging out with all the wrong people and before i know it i realize now that ive been fucking around with meth since December! I have always said that i would just stick to drinking and smoking weed. But now i have tried Ex, coke and now meth which seems to be so addicting. I know that this isnt who i am. I am supposed to be a college girl with all the world in front of me yet here is this drug that is so tantalizing because it keeps me awake to do homework and go to work, and i have so much fun on it. BUt i know it is so bad and coming down makes me se a depressed side of me i have never seen before. I dont know..i just dont know what to do or how to stop this vicious cycle.

Rhonda said at June 22, 2005 9:02 AM:

I used meth for more than a year and started out it was great. I was sharper and faster and invincible for a long time. Then all of a sudden my Mom died and strung out and argueing with my husband over my use I failed to make it to her funeral. Having sex outside my marriage and characteristics that I would have never thought of doing off meth. Then the hallucinations began. I was arrested, and I made a complete fool of myself in too many ways to to mention. Driving around for days and days paranoid and afraid to stop driving. I am lucky to be alive.

I have been clean for about a year now and I still hear voices inside my head. When I was on meth I thought there were speakers set up everywhere I went and I cut holes in my vehicle seats, tore apart appliances, made holes in walls looking for speakers. I didn't know meth could do this to me. I just knew it felt terrific before all that began. But let me tell anyone out there who is having fun on meth right now this. Just because you stop using it today, your brain may not ever heal.

I almost find that life is too stressful with the constant voices I hear still today. They tell me that I am evil, and constantly badger me. I was a totally sane individual, before meth. Now I am crazy and I still have all the pressures of life that I did before meth, only now I almost cannot deal with things. It's a true effort to continue each and every day. I am not suicidal because I beleive that to kill ones self is unforgivable in God's eyes, and I cannot harm anyone, or myself ever, but my WILL to continue this daily challenge has diminished, and I search for any hope I can find out there in this world that my brain can heal somehow.

I feel so unworthy to be alive. I feel so sad for the people I have hurt throught the use of this evil, devastating drug. It is from Satan himself. It tricks a person and it's so innocent in the beginning and it is designed to make us think there's little harm in doing it until you are unable to resist it when it starts destroying you rapidly. I had sores all over my body that were infected from picking, yet I kept smoking that pipe. I smoked day and night and did not sleep for days. One hit and I would be up for two days.

Yet I was invincible and upbeat, I finally lost those few extra pounds I had been struggling with and I looked so nice in those jeans I hadn't been able to wear for years. (As long as you didn't look to close at my face for the black sores that wouldn't heal because I was rotting away from lack of nutrition and sleep). All that has gone. My skin is healed now, (as long as I don't mind the pale white circle shape spots all over my entire body where the sores used to be, and that will never look normal again). If this any indication of what meth has done to my outside just imagine what the INSIDE must look like.

I can tell my brain is permanently fried just because how long I've been "clean" and I still hear voices. I want them to go away so bad but I have to keep this to myself or the whole world will thing I am a nutcase, so of course I keep this to myself. I wish someone would have told me meth could do these things to me, like a warning or as medication you get. Like this "Meth can and will eventually cause decay on the body inside and out. Through lack of proper nutrition and sleep which the body needs to regenerate daily the body will not funtion on it's own anymore. It will funtion and be fueled through meth alone. You will be operating at light speeds but there will be no natural fuel present as it will have been depleted within the first few days of meth usage. When you use and stop you will find you need to sleep one full day for each day of meth use to allow the body to catch up naturally. Therefore several weeks usage does permanent and many times lethal damage.

Now let's move onto the brain. Brains unfortunately are as able to bounce back as much as skin is. Skin is what you can see, you have no idea what's going on behind the closed doors of the brain. Brains don't heal much of the time, and when they do heal just a very small amount it does in fact take many months or years if at all. A person has no idea what a wonderful blessing a healthy brain is until they no longer have one." You have been forewarned.

I know you won't listen. I know you think you know it all and won't happen to you. Of course not, you're invincible. But just so you can't say you didn't know, and just so you can't claim innocent you have now been told what IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU because you are going to use meth anyways. So I hope you don't end up like me with permanent damage. Hey it's not so bad, I just can't seem to deal with life each day, you know like having people to talk to normally, without paranoia, having a job and all that. Maybe you'll find someone who's willing to take care of you for life, like I have. You don't need any achievements in your life. Just exist. On meth I am sure you can find ways to feel like you are on top of the world really easy, no matter what's really happening.

Well you've been told the truth. All the other bullcrap you hear about this or that contrary to what's written here is just crap. I have seen several people go down this road and there isn't ONE that hasn't experienced this stuff after awhile on meth. It changes who you are completely and when you throw yourself away sometimes you don't get to come back the way you used to be. You'll be gone for good. You come back a little but never fully. You chose meth over who you really are, all by yourself, your life, good and bad, you chose to throw the baby out with the bathwater when you meth.

Now when you finally quit it, and you will quit, you might be dead, (chances are on or the other) or in prison, but you'll quit then you will (if you're lucky to be alive that is) need to form a whole new life, with half of a functioning brain, with scars inside and out, your rotted body will heal to it's best ability, ( you see you actually thought you looked good), what a shame now that you can see through reality eye's it'll be the most painful thing you've ever gone through, it'll be the hardest temptation you have ever had to resist to not use again, and chances are you won't be able to resist, like I said this is for the elect few that are exceptionally intelligent to chose to resist, which are not the normal ones by any means, most of you will be so weak you won't be able to stay away from it for long, those ones of you are the liars, you lie to yourselves and everyone else and say it's not hurting anyone, it's not bad, I don't hallicinate, it doesn't change who I am, you are liars and you are a waste to everyone.

But the other ones who are still alive, it's not too late. You can stop. You are strong. You will be alright without meth. It gets easier. If you don't have any noticable brain damage yet, stop before you do. You will be the luckiest person alive if you do. No matter how far gone you are, you are alive. Life can be better than this. Life shouldn't revolve or depend on some substance to change yourself. Accept yourself for what you are. You will not be better on meth or anything else for that matter. All it does is changes the way to think. You can do that without a drug that's killing you can't you? Trust me on this, after you stop using, you'll have the same old life, the same old problems, only you will have a sh*tload more problems added to the ones you have now after you decide to quit.

I don't know what else to say to you people. If you can't listen to common sense and not use this stuff then no one can help you. You might as well as off yourselves today and save the whole world the misery of seeing yet one more person slowly kill themselves with drugs. I know that sounds incredibally insensitive but it's the truth. None of us have perfect lives, and some of us have had it downright horrible, but look around you and find a way to make it work the right way. Drugs are not the answer. Never has been and it never will be. No matter how innocent and deceiving it might look in the beginning. It's killing you. One suicide or another it's still what it is. Chose life.

Take whatever you have and flush it right now. Break the pipe, destroy everything you have right now while you are strong enough. Take control over it. You know you really want to. You know you really don't want to be this way. Look at yourself. Think about what you're doing. Is this your behavior? Do you typically do these types of things? Do you want for the world to see everything you've been doing? They will know eventually if you keep going. Do you want to be known as the type of person who typically does these kinds of things? You will be. If you don't stop. If it doesn't bother you, then more power to you. Keep going by ALL MEANS. ENJOY. Because you don't have a whole lot of time left. :) Just keep it to yourself. Don't offer it some other innocent dumbass like me with promises of invincibilty or any other line of garbage. Just go ahead and speed up your progress so we can be done with you as quick as possible. This is only for those of you out there who have consiences. Who really don't want to end up a statistic in a morgue.

One last time. STOP DOING THIS RIGHT NOW! IF you don't get rid of the temptation AND the ability to use you will use again and again and again. Break it off where it hurts and destroy all possible urges and temptaions. It is THE ONLY WAY to stop. You will NOT BE ABLE TO STOP OTHERWISE. Throw away all of it, Destroy it all. If you don't do this, you are NOT going to stop using. Don't bullsh*t yourself. You are not pulling my leg ar anyone else's by saying I stopped but I am keeping this or that cause I whatever blah blah blah. Even friends I am talking about here. You can't fly with the eagles if you're running with the turkeys my friend.

That's about all I have to say about it. You can take what I wrote here with a grain of salt and throw it out the window for all I care. The only thing I have is my experiences and I am definately not any sort of professional conselor, all my patients would off themselves because I am not generally compassionate. My life has not been an easy one and that has made me rough around the edges. I don't believe that people should give a bunch of excuses or beating around the bushes about serious things like this. You either are or you're not in my book. Cut to the chase, get to the point.

Life is too short to be sitting around wondering whether you are going to do this or that or will you or won't you. There are a lot of good people in this world who are being hurt by selfish idiots who are looking for a higher plane through drugs and they drag those patient and loving folks right down the drain with them. It's real pain and permanent scars you cause when you hurt others who have done nothing to deserve it. You want to destroy yourself GO FOR IT. In fact it would have been better for you not to ever been here in the first place if you're going to cause innocent people pain. You are selfish and cruel when you use drugs. You don't deserve another chance but you got one if you're reading this right now and you're on drugs, especially meth. It might be you're last day here with us for any number of reasons outside of your control. Is this they way you choose to spend it? Hmmm. What does that say about you? What will they say about you at your funeral?

Not too long ago I saw a program about this college couple on meth who ended up lost in the woods in the snow and died that night. Like anyone on meth can be, they thought they saw 200 indians and blacks in the woods and they kept calling the cops on their cell phones and they left a car with GAS AND HEAT to run off into the dark. It was actually cows in a pasture and they thought they were hunting them down. I feel truly saddened for them and their families. One more incident which PROVES that if you are using today, this might be your last day here. This is just one small, tiny grain of sand on a beach of examples of meth usage. I could go on and on and on and on and on with examples.

Would be interested to hear a whole bunch more horror stories? Would that convince you then? You are the type of person who had to learn the hard way like me? I know I know, too real. Not gonnna happen to YOU. Because of this or that blah blah blah blah. Ok you are just too good to be true. Just too darned lucky and smart and invincible. OK whatever you say. You now know the truth though. I know you don't like it and you will find anyway you can to discredit it or disregard it. No excuses though when it's too late ok? Enjoy then now that you know without any shadow of any doubt that you now know the TRUTH about meth. It burns holes in your brain my friends. Holes that never heal. That's the BEST possible scenerio. If that sounds like a good thing to you, then maybe it's best that you use up a whole bunch of drugs real quick like then and get it over with. Because with that type of common sense I think everyone else would be better served without your particular input.

B said at July 12, 2005 2:30 AM:

I have been making my own for the last 5 years. So I can do all i want whenever I want. I dont sell I just use. I cant even get high anymore. I just do it to maintain, to feel normal. I need to quit but every time I try, I will sleep for weeks. I can get up and go to work after about a solid week of sleep. when I get home I will go straight to bed. this has lasted for up to 2 months with no shigns of getting better. (I still have no energy at all) So I will end up doing some shit. and I'm off again. Does anyone know if a doctor will prescribe something that will help me make it past the first 6 months. I have read alot of the other stories on this post, and I can tell you that I am worse off than the majority of people who post here and I know I need help. I cant do it myself. Please, Does anyone know of something non-addictive that will get me through the first couple of months...............

JJ said at July 13, 2005 7:35 PM:

I feel the same way that B feels. I wish there would be something that could help with getting off it. It's so hard. It seems impossible to do. Any advice would be appreciated very much. Thanks. JJ

Buzzkill said at July 17, 2005 9:45 PM:

B and JJ.. Funny, the two nicknames of the people I needed to get the fuck away from when I quit doing dope. Try to get a script for adderall, its cheating a bit but it can be the difference between losing everything due to lack of energy and slowly getting back on track.

Michael said at July 18, 2005 2:55 AM:

Note to meth users!!
I am a hoping to recover meth user.. Let me tell you something.. My beautiful 23 year old fiance and fellow addict is in ICU right now! We both agreed to give up the drug 2 weeks ago. One week later she had not used, I was still struggling with it. But she also was having problems getting out of bed, and sleeping 20+ hours a day. Thought it was withdrawls. We were wrong! She went into the hospital, and they tested her heart... A 23 year old woman should have 75% fluid rejection in her heart... IE 75% of the fluid that goes in should get pushed back out.. She had less then 10%.
She probably needs a transplant. Problem there is that I had smoked around her 2 days before she went in, so she tested positive for trace amounts.. So they won't consider her for a transplant until she goes through rehab and is clean for 6 months.. No problem with the rehab/clean, problem is with the 6 months.. She might not make it that long on her heart.. They don't care, though, because they don't want to waste a heart on someone who is going to just fuck uit up.
She is 23, and has used for less then 12 months... Be warned, it can and will kill you!!!

B said at July 20, 2005 6:15 AM:

Wouldn't your heart explode in like 2 miniutes of that shit? i know how serious this shit is.

B said at July 29, 2005 7:08 PM:

Does anyone know if my Doctor will/can perscribe the Adderall or something else if I to him and tell him my problem..

Justin Anderson said at August 7, 2005 9:25 AM:

I HAVE USED METHANPHETAMINES FOR 17 YEARS,AND THE LAST YEAR I HAVE TRIED TO QUIT...I HAVE GOTTEN A NEW LIFE DUE TO NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS AND AM GRATEFUL.I HAVE RELAPSED SEVERAL TIMES BUT KEPT COMING BACK!! NOW I HAVE 35 DAYS CLEAN AND GOING STRONG!! IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE,HEALTH MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY THEN GO TO MEETINGS AND FIND NEW FRIENDS!! HERES AN EXAMPLE OF A GOOD DAY... GO TO WORK MAKE LOTS OF MONEY COME HOME AND YOUR WOMAN COOKS A NICE DINNER, YOU SPEND QUALITY TIME, FEED THE DOG AND GO TO BED WITHOUT USING DRUGS OR ALCHOHOL.... HERES AN EXAMPLE OF A GREAT DAY.... YOU GO TO WORK AND GET A TICKET FOR SPEEDING, BEHIND ON RENT, DONT MAKE ANY MONEY, COME HOME AND WOMAN IS MAD AT YOU AND DOESNT MAKE DINNER OR SPEND TIME WITH YOU, GO TO FEED THE DOG AND HE BITES YOUR HAND, GO TO BED WITH OUT USING DRUGS OR ALCHOHOL!!!! IM LEARNING TO DEAL WITH LIFE ON LIFES TERMS AND THATS HARD AT TIMES BUT AT LEAST ITS REAL!!!

Jeff said at August 16, 2005 3:05 AM:

Hey peeps, I am a 42 year old male meth monster. I have been on Prescription speed since i was 7 years old. D one it all... rittilin, adderal, now i've been on Dexadrine for about 5 years. In addition to this I use about 1 - 11/2 grams of meth daily. I've been in and out of the program for 11 years but i just can't stay clean. I am looking for any and all suggestions

DMC (DALLAS, TEXAS) said at August 31, 2005 12:17 AM:

I WOULD LIKE TO APLOGIZE FOR MY SPELLING RIGHT OFF! I believe that you can take care of the body and the mind when using meth with proper exercise and forcing a nutritional program down your throat. I am an ex-college football player who went from 265 pounds at the age of 20. I am now 36 and since my relapse I am a whopping 190. I do indeed take care of my body and I use everyday and everyway. Personally, I am more concerned with the brain matter and my ability to re-call information like I once did. I know that my age is taking it's toll and believe me when I say "You are living in "DOG YEARS" when your using meth on a regular basis!

I will say that the Year and a half that I refrained from meth, I was a different person.(MUCH SHARPER!) I just became bored and I also wanted to see if I could use one time and put it away. It struck me like a bolt of lightning and I am still shocked at the power of Fucking Chemicals that would run a garden tiller?? What's up! This is not Bulivian Flake?

I really wanted to express in this comment section that when you decide to quit and or if you are still using, take care of yourself. I purchased some Floride Sollution and I whiten my teeth with simple paint on Colgate. I have never had a cavity in my 10 years, minus one break, of over the edge abuse. I take a multivitamine that is absolutely essential to getting back on track. Adderall to me should be given to ALL meth addicts and classified in a similier manner to Methadone for Heroin Addicts. I sure the hell dont have an exstended, six month vacation I can use to clean up and sleep. Take it easy on your food intake. YOur body is a starved MESS and your intitial reaction is to pig out. Refrain from this! The digestion process has been on Idle for the duration of your use and most critical element is that the body and the brittle bones, joints and muscle groups that we neglected cannot handle a quick 15 to 20 pounds. This needs to be a gradual process and WILL MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT, EVEN IN BED! DIET IS CRUCIAL. If adderall is not available (which dont go to your local doctor and spill your guts.) This drug is for axiety folks!...with a kick! It's not just speed.) Let the legalized drug dealer in on the fact that your focus and your ability to finish tasks at work, perhaps your concentration level has deteriorated and you used to take adderall but you thought that it was to expensive and you had a grip on your inability to have a normal life without it. Due to your lack of benefits "whatever" etc... and it's time to re-look the medication that you once took 4 to 5 years ago and a couple times in between. MY APOLOGIES for getting off track!...HOTROCKS, HOTROCKS, HOTROCKS (Walgreens and Walmart) IF YOU CANT GET THE ADDS. AMINO ACIDS ARE CRUCIAL TO GET OXYGEN BACK INTO THE BLOOD. A MULTIVITAMINE CALLED VITAL ALERT is great and very well priced. Spend some money on nutritional products from GNC and dont bitch. You wont even touch the $$$ you spent of the Devils Dandruff! PUT AS MUCH H2O IN YOUR BODY AS YOU DID METH A DAY. Its a GOOD RULE TO LIVE BY. THINK IT OVER? ****(GET UP OFF YOUR ASS AND WALK TO THE MAILBOX AND THEN WALK TO THE STORE AND THEN RUN TO THE MAIL BOX AND TO THE STORE AND KEEP ON MOVING. Find an old hobbie and it may not seem fun at all. Thats the lack of Natural Dope in your brain that we all have depleted. Dont let it fool you! YOu know you like to fish and always have! ALWAYS EXERCISE AND I KNOW THAT THE DEPRESSION IS KILLER...I DO! MY LAST SUGGESTION THAT WAS VERY BENEFICIAL IN MY RECOVERY THAT I ABOLISHED, WAS ZOLOFT. THAT PUT ME OVER THE EDGE OF THE DEPRESSION, WHICH IN MY OPINION IS WORSE THEN FATIQUE!

GOOD LUCK AND IF ANYONE HAS HAD BETTER LUCK IN THEIR SECOND EFFORT, PLEASE WRITE ME. I THINK I AM OK BUT THATS THE ISSUE, IS IT NOT!

B said at September 3, 2005 3:50 AM:

DMC,
That really sounded like some good solid advice. I am going to need it,for redemption day is getting close. I only have enough RED to do one more batch and I'm done, I have been telling myself this for a few months. I have cut down as well. I quit for a month last year and I know exactly what you mean about eating. thats all i did was eat and sleep. Hell, I even ate when I wasn't hungry. But It wasn't long before I relapsed. It was well fucking worth it too. 2 hits and I thought my freakin heart was gona peel through my chest. Funny thing, I live in dallas too. I am going to try that thing with the doc that you said. I have beed taking vitimins daily for about 2 months now but I don't notice anything. Most important to me is how fucking long did you sleep. and did you ever get to the point to where you could go to work and get there on time? The shit kills me. You can stay up all nite but your still late for work EVERY DAY! I had it made last time I quit. I could go to work and sleep just about all day. but I can't do that anymore. I know this is really gona be a bitch.probably the hardest thing iv'e ever done at that. But I gota do it no matter what. Iv'e got a good payin job and its just a matter of time before the hammer comes down. Besides that, Home Doept don't stay open all nite anymore. The real fucked up thing is, I dont feel like I'm doing anything wrong. aint hurtin anybody but me. Things were 1000 times worse when I was a drinker. Sure glad that shit is over with.


B.
A.K.A. Niteprowler

DMC said at September 10, 2005 3:38 AM:

Hey B.

I am glad you feel like it might help. Where in Dallas do you live? I hope you can stay functioning man. It sounds to me like you are very concerned with your job and that you might be catching a little shit for taking to much time in the mirror, convincing yourself that you dont look high! Write anytime.

DMC said at September 10, 2005 5:32 PM:

B.
I hope my comment did not come off as sarcasm, brother. I just have been there one to many times, trying to get all my shit together which was fruity as hell. Control your mind in life, or on meth or being a sex addict, it doesnt matter...controll your thoughts. I want you to know, that I have more experience at "One Thing" then anybody else that I know and that one thing is Fucking Up. I dont judge anyone so my apologies if this sounded shitty. My daughters up in my face after an intense game of wiffle ball!

Peace Brother. "One who associates all circumstances with either PAIN OR PLEASURE, figures out in a hurry what their likes and dis-likes are.

Rusty said at October 8, 2005 9:12 PM:

my name is rusty and i'm a meth addict i've been clean for 37 days off of it but i have only been sober for 7 days because i was smoking weed in between my meth quitting day or whatever u want to call it i have been going through withdrawls and it seriously is the worst feeling in the world... i've become very paranoid and schitzophrenic [even though i used meth for way less time than anyone else who has posted here (2 and 1/2 months)] i've begun to feel a change in my health i've become more active and i've gained weight (about 5-10 lbs.) I put myself in a rehab program because i really felt i couldn't deal with this by myself and needed input from other users or alcoholics or whatever other people might be using or trying to quit here... anyways thanks to all you people who gave your input here it has really scared the shit out of me, lol, and it's given me hope. i plan on going to N.A. meetings everyday until i feel i am ready to deal with life myself, but, if that never happens then so be it, i brought this upon myself by snorting that first line... anyways yeah... thank you all :)...

sincerely,
Rusty

Anonymous said at November 8, 2005 11:50 AM:

All one can do is move forward, If you never believed in reincarnation then you now must accept this. What a marvoulous idea of starting new, howevery it be. attitude IS alttitude. Always remember this, and that those that love you love you but much like yourself, dont want to see you as you can (have, had)become. TRUST YOUR HEART if your brain is broken , you are good souls. Cheers

rh said at November 9, 2005 12:55 PM:

To B and JJ and B and DMC: Thank you for info you offer. I am in same boat re binge eating, sloth, sleep and depression when I stop, I go so to the opposite extreme of when I am high and I hate it so so much that I don't CARE the consequences - and so I use again. I feel I NEED something to help take off the a) fatigue and b) depression. How can I get my doctor give me Adderal? I don't want to come clean with him. If he has to refer me to a psych for a med like Adderal I know that guy is going to say "No meds. Go to rehab." Bullshit. I know what I need. DMC thank for info re eating and multivitamins and hobbies. Peace.

B2 said at November 9, 2005 10:51 PM:

It's always been a party drug to me, with the exception of a few months when it just seemed to fall from the sky and I didn't want to crash and miss work, so I stayed on it. But that doesn't mean I think it's okay. I've felt the damage. I know the clock is ticking and those of you still alive after 20+ years of using should just forget the drug and the years lost, thank God you are still here and LIVE, man. Live every day,take it all in and do that thing God kept you alive this long to do. Amidst inspirational chatter, I do have a point:
This is for those wondering how to kick it and retain energy. I have "kicked it" many times, and the length of the binge is---of course---proportional to the depth of misery you go through when you are kicking.
But if you do this I promise it won't be so bad.
First of all, even while you are still using drink water (lots), and lay down more. You'll be surprised how easy you might dose off. If you can't go to sleep that easy get into bed with a couple of beers or liquor drink by your bed to sip on as you come down. Make sure your lights are dim or off. Bring a notebook to write in or a sketchpad to draw on to bed with you, or better yet call someone you know doesn't use the crap and talk you them while you lie in bed and wind down. Keep yourself relaxed, occupied and sip on your drinks and look forward to the fact that you are going to embrace sleep for a change. DO NOT GET UP UNLESS YOU HAVE TO PEE.(You are retraining your body that it's time to sleep when you lay down, so you can't get up for anything, you must lay down and chill.)
The next day you will be fuzzy and miserable, but before you reach for the dope you must start your new daily routine.
Drink a whole cup of OJ and force down something-anything- to eat. Whole grain cereals are the best with fruits. Don't eat anything heavy EVER when you are coming off the shit- your body will bog down trying to digest it. Keep it light and frequent. If you eat several healthy light meals that are easy to break down your body will naturally start to burn energy quickly off of food rather than dope. Always have a bottle of water in your hand. Remember- you are retraining your mind and body. You will screw everything up if you go get a value meal or eat a fried chicken dinner. After you have started your day by eating and hydrating, you MUST start a daily vitamin schedule without forgetting even one day.
Each vitamin is a brick in the road closer to being meth-free, withdrawal-free and feeling good, so don't screw this up. Start the following regimen at least TWO WEEKS before you kick the dirt or you will crash miserably.
Take all these individually, not in one multivitamin.
Meth eats the glucosamine and chondroitin slap out of your hinges, so take those daily (it's a combo, many full servings are two or three pills a day.) If you do this you won't experience the joint stiffness and soreness that keeps you on the couch while you are kicking.
Meanwhile take folic acid for your heart, be sure not to forget this. It aids in circulation and will help keep blood flowing as you increase daily activity. Slow cardiovascular exercise will begin to strengthen your heart. Do not overdo anything at this point, your system is weak and must rebuild slowly. You are at risk of heart attack so go slow but do some small thing daily that gets your blood flowing, start off your day with 20 jumping jacks or something cheesy like that.
Iron supplements are also a must to take in daily to keep your body from feeling drained.
Also get on Coral Calcium, vitamin c (500 mg daily), magnesium, and zinc for more bone, tissue, joint and immune system reinforcement and rebuild. Low dose Niacin (Vit B2) preps your system to retain energy as you ease off the dope, so take that daily as well. Take no more than 250 mg daily at first (to prevent flushing with elevated temp, Niacin makes you hot), then 500 daily if you can get it timed release.
Eat salads, consisting of raw spinach (iceberg and romaine is a waste of energy). Foliage is a potent detoxifier.
Chicken for protein, avoid red meat for now and greasy foods.
Have an occasional red bull in the afternoons for pep instead of dope.
Now it's time to get your last bag of dope and wean yourself slowly over one week, taking less each day. Remember: only after you have been on all of these supplements for at least TWO WEEKS.
If you are serious about this, its a breeze. You are above the drug, it's nothing and you're something.

sammie s said at November 10, 2005 7:51 PM:

Hey whats I am a junor in high school and I am 16 and have been an addict for 4 yrs.METH WAS MY D.O.C. I would smoke and snort daily up to two 8 balls a day. that shit took everything from me . I even stole from family and friend just to get that one lil high and now have courtdates, probation,restitution,cummunity service,and treatment, and a big thing no TRUST. Thats alot to go threw as a teen and it is very hard to say NO. I have only been clean for 3 weeks but that is good for how bad I got. I almost killed meyself. And so far doin good but struggleing.

Amber F said at November 19, 2005 7:08 PM:

I am a meth addict who has been clean for almost 6 months. I've gone through treatment and now am in a Halfway House. This is my third treament and I know will be my last. I have sisters and a neice who still suffers from this terrible addiction as well as friends. What really gets me is that through the 11 years that I used nothing bad things have happened in my life but yet I still get that urge. It is certainely the Devil's Drug and he will patiently wait for us all. That's what sucks. I have hope though and a lot of Faith. Faith for a better life cause the old one caused me nothing but lost time away from my family and most of all I lost myself. A.A., N.A., C.M.A are life savers and by the grace of God I am sober today.. I pray for all who still suffer from this addiction.

B said at November 30, 2005 1:38 AM:

Well, I'm back. I still have not totally quit but my wife and i have gone from 10g's a week down to about 3 or less and to be honest, if I take a no-dose before work,I can function all day. Some days I won't use when I get home. This is alot harder to quit when you are trying to quit with your wife. You dont want to give up the killer sex and it seems like we (she) are (is)constantly accusing each other (me) of using when we are not. I have learned alot from this site. everyones input has been helpfull, (Except Sammy's. People like you are the reason the shit is illegal. You deserve everything you get for stealing from other people to support your habit.) Anyway I dont believe in N.A.or any of that shit. you need to get your mind OFF of the shit. and hang with people who dont use. NOT SIT AROUND WITH A BUNCH OF FELLOW JUNKIES AND TALK ABOUT IT 5 DAYS A WEEK. If you have ever been addicted, And I mean really addicted to crack, You will know that just talking about it makes your body freak the fuck out. my cousin would be puking all the way to work on payday cuz he knew he was gona get a fix at lunch after he cashed his check. Since I posted last I have sold my house and moved. and I am not communicating with the people (so called friends) that i had been. Its just my wife and I and our 2 kick ass boys. I really hope we gan get through the bullshit together. I really can function better than most. but I have noticed that it is fucking her up at times. so it must be affecitng me in the same way,I just cant see it. I will not say that meth is the devil's tool or anything to that effect. only you control what you do with what you have. But it has negitavly affected everyone i know in some way. and for that reason and that reason only i am jumping off the train.
Did you wonder why you read in the paper every other day about some drunk driver killing someone with their car? Have you ever read the same story that was caused by someone that was just did some speed?
Well I'm gona go for now beforre I get some big debate started here. C-Ya B
DMC, What up dde? stay cool

vanessa said at December 3, 2005 10:12 PM:

My name is vanessa, I come from the midwest where meth runs rampant- I have been using meth for almost 10 years even though Im only 25. It started with crank then it went to fluff then graduated to glass/ice. This shit has severly fucked up my life from the day I started smoking it!!! I cant believe some of the shit Ive been reading on here about that its okay to do dope as long as you take care of your body- come on keep it real!!- Its the dope thats telling you that. I checked myself into a treatment program in september 2005 and my life has got nothing but better since then.
Today is 90 days that Ive been clean- it hasnt been easy but its way worth it- I have a life again now. My time and energy isnt totally consumed with getting and doing dope anymore, I got so tired of meth running my life!!!! I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I just want all of you ACTIVE ADDICTS that there is life after dope!!!!!!!!!!!!! I attend Narcotics anonymous and try to put half as much effort into quitting as I put into using. I have had to cut off 95% of my family because they use or hang out with people who use. When I say Ive been clean I mean clean off of everything I dont drink or smoke weed anymore either ,which I must admit quitting weed and alcohol has been more difficult than meth because especially alcohol is everywhere!!! I know that they will just lead me right back to my drug of choice(meth) thats something I learned in treatment. If you are still an active addict take a long hard look at your life and get the help you need

Amber said at December 4, 2005 4:17 PM:

Well here I am coming up to my 6 month of being free from methamphetamines. Man, is it hard, especially when you have family that still uses. I saw my little sister last night and she looked higher than hell. It sucks to see someone you love killing themselves. Not only that seeing someone else high is a trigger for me. It really sucks being an addict but somehow someway we all have got to overcome this powerful drug. My sister wrote me a letter while she spent some time in jail and ofcourse we all know how people talk in jail, but this time was different she asked me to please help her, to please come and find her. That hurts, it hurts so bad, I wish I could just reach out and grab her and take her away from this shit. I've been in treatment since July 2005, and this time I am able to see the pain I've caused my family and how I lost myself. I'm trying to gain back the trust I've lost from them but it will take time. I feel so bad for all the people still addicted to that shit. I will pray for you. Till next time.

Vanessa said at December 5, 2005 12:40 PM:

B- you saying that NA is bullshit is completely ignorant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NA saves peoles lives and
you being an active addict must not know shit about it!!! Get some information on NA before you knock it , because it isnt a bunch of junkies talking about dope its a bunch of junkies seeking solice in one another and sharing where they are at in there recovery. Recovery isnt something you know much about either you idiot!! how are you gonna knock sammy for telling his story and saying he stole to get high 90 percent of addicts have stole or lied to get high!!! Hes not the reason the shits illegal- its illegal because its bad for your mind,body,and spirit. I feel sorry for your kick ass boys that are growing up with 2 meth head parents- why dont you think about that before yo call yourself a functioning addict- THERE IS NOOOOOOOOO SUCHHHHHH THINGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ill pray for you and your family and I hope that one day the meth will be cleared from your head and you will be able to see the stupidity in your comments

Amber said at December 5, 2005 5:23 PM:

I don't know if any of you have ever heard this or not, but my counselor gave it to me. I liked it alot because it describes meth and what it has done and if you are still using what it will do. Please take this to heart because it is so true. Here goes:

CRYSTAL METH
------------

I DESTROY HOME.
I TEAR APART FAMILIES.
I TAKE YOUR CHILDREN AND THAT'S JUST A START!
I'M MORE VALUED THAT DIAMONDS,
MORE PRECIOUS THAN GOLD!
THE SORROW I BRING,
IS A SIGHT TO BEHOLD!
I LIVE WITH THE RICH,
I LIVE WITH THE POOR,
I LIVE DOWN THE STREET,
AND MAYBE NEXT DOOR!
I'M MADE IN A LAB,
NO ONE LIKE YOU THINK,
I CAN EVEN BE MADE UNDER
YOUR KITHCEN SINK!
I HAVE MANY NAMES,
BUT THERE IS ONE YOU'LL KNOW BEST.
I'M SURE YOU'VE HEARD OF ME,
MY NAME IS CRYSTAL METH!
MY POWER IS AWESOME,
TRY ME AND SEE!
BUT BEWARE IF YOU DO,
YOU MAY NEVER BE FREE!
TRY ME JUST ONCE,
AND I MIGHT LET YOU GO!
BUT TRY ME TWICE,
THEN I'LL OWN YOUR SOUL!
WHEN I POSSESSYOU,
YOU'LL STEAL AND LIE.
YOU'LL DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO,
JUST TO GET HIGH!
YOU'LL LIE TO YOUR MOM,
YOU'LL STEAL FROM YOUR DAD,
AND WHEN YOU SEE THEIR TEARS,
YOU'LL NOT FEEL SAD!
YOU;LL FORGET YOUR MORALS,
AND HOW YOU WERE RAISED!
I'LL BE YOUR CONSCIENCE,
I'LL TEACH YOU MY WAYS!
I TAKE KIDS FROM PARENTS,
I TAKE PARENTS FROM KIDS!
I TAKE PEOPLE FROM GOD,
AND SEPERATE FRIENDS!
I'LL TAKE EVERYTHING FROM YOU,
YOUR GOOD LOOKS AND PRIDE!
I'LL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU,
RIGHT THERE BY YOUR SIDE!
YOU;LL GIVE UP YOUR FAMILY,
YOU'LL GIVE UP YOUR FRIENDS,
YOU'LL GIVE UP EVERYTHING,
I'M YOUR ONLY FRIEND!
I'LL TAKE AND I'LL TAKE,
TILL YOU HAVE NO MORE TO GIVE,
WHEN I FINISH WITH YOU,
YOU'LL BE LUCKY TO LIVE!
IF YOU TRY ME, BE WARNED,
THIS IS NOT A GAME,
IF YOU GIVE ME A CHANCE,
I WILL DRIVE YOU INSANE!
I'LL REVENGE YOUR BODY,
I'LL CONTROL YOUR MIND,
I'LL OWN YOU COMPLETELY,
YOUR SOUL WILL BE MINE!
NIGHTMARES I'LL GIVE YOU,
WHEN YOU LIE IN BED,
THE VOICES YOU'LL HEAR
FROM INSIDE YOUR HEAD!
THE SHAKES AND SWEATS,
THE VISIONS YOU'LL SEE,
I WANT YOU TO KNOW,
ALL GIFTS ARE FROM ME!
BY THEN IT'S TOO LATE,
AND YOU'LL KNOW IN YOUR HEART,
THAT YOU ARE NOW MINE,
AND WE SHALL NOT PART,
YOU'LL REGRET THAT YOU TRIED ME,
PEOPLE ALWAYS DO!
BUT YOU CAME TO ME,
NOT I TO YOU!
YOU KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN,
MANY TIMES YOU WERE TOLD!
BUT YOU CHALLENGED MY POWERS,
YOU CHOSE TO BE BOLD!
YOU COULD HAVE SAID NO,
AND JUST WALKED AWAY,
IF YOU COULD HAVE THAT DAY OVER,
NOW WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?
MY POWER IS AWESONE,
AS I TOLD YOU BEFORE,
I CAN TAKE YOUR MOTHER
AND MAKE HER A WHORE!
I'LL BE YOUR MASTER,
YOU'LL DO AS I SAY,
EVEN WHEN I TELL YOU
TO GO TO THE GRAVE!
NOW THAT YOU'VE MET ME,
WHAT WILL YOU DO?
WILL YOU TRY ME OR NOT?
IT'S ALL UP TO YOU!
I CAN SHOW YOU MORE MISERY,
THAT WORDS CAN TELL,
COME TAKE MY HAND,
LET ME LEAD YOU TO HELL!!!!
Author Unknown

B said at December 5, 2005 5:54 PM:

OK Vanessa Calm down little girl. Your 25 and have been using for 10 years. well if you have ben doing this shit since you were 15 years young its no wonder your head is so fucked up. And I would love so much to induce some major pain on some little speed freak bastard that was stealing something of mine with my kids new paintball gun.This thing will make the biggest man drop to his knees. lol... You need to live life in the real world before you can comment with your words of wisdom. Have you ever had a job? (Not Mcdonalds). ever paid off a new car. a mortgage? The few Years that you have had on this earth with your feet pointed twards the ceiling doesnt give you very much know how in anything. so go bust balls with sammy. little girl.

I apoplgise for the little bitty comment I made to Sammy. And the shit I said about N.A. Is my opinonn thats all but this little bitch just pissed me off talking shit where my kids are concerned. It has been said time and time again on this site by all educated people. THERE IS NO PROGRAM THAT WILL MAKE YOU QUIT OR KEEP YOU OFF THE SHIT! THE ONLY WAY YOU WILL EVER QUIT IS IF YOU WANT TO QUIT. YOU HAVE TO WANT IT. NOBODY CAN MAKE YOU... THATS FACT NOT A STORY MADE UP IN SOME LITTLE GIRLS FUCKED UP MIND

vanessa said at December 6, 2005 1:48 PM:

Didnt mean to offend you OLDDDDDD MANNNNNNNNNN- The olny thing you said that had any merit in your whole statement was your not going to quit unless you want to, and you obviously dont want to. Ive got better things to do than argue with some active meth head on the internet- If you want to ruin your life and continue to use thats fine but dont go on this website or any other website and act like meth is an acceptable way of life. So go get some help if not for you then for your kids and bring your wife with you.You probably dont have much time left since your OLD and TOOTHLESS.As for all the fucked up comments you made about me EAT A DICK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Melanie said at December 13, 2005 10:37 PM:

i used for 4 years and am now clean for one year yesterday. I started using to make friends and to be more outgoing, but as i used more and more i found i was pulling in people who didn't use the drug. I wanted them to be addicted so i would have more "friends". i realize now that i was being incredably selfish and would take all of it back if i could. Thats how it goes though, hind sight is 20/20. i started selling it so i could keep using for cheaper. i lost some one dear to me, my first love. i pulled him into the drug and he became addicted. he killed himself one and a half years ago. i feel empty sometimes but i recovered from this drug with alot of help and love from friends and family. this drug will totally change your life, it starts as a fun way to party, but it will eventually take over your life. its dangerous and it kills. you will never be the same after this drug has its way with you. i hope everyone who starts it finds the courage to over come it.

nicole said at December 15, 2005 7:19 AM:

my name is nicole and i am a recovering meth addict. this is my second attempt in recovery this time i have managed to stay clean for 18 months, become a better mother to my 4 yr old son, meet and marry the best man in the world who is also in recovery, get a job as a counselor in training at the recovery center i went to, and my husband and i are expecting a baby in july . life is good in recovery. all it takes the desire to stop using!!!

Vanessa said at December 15, 2005 11:09 PM:

I just wanted to say to anyone that is reading this and actively using meth or any drug for that matter that there is a better life you could be leading. I know that things happen and life sucks sometimes but drugs especially meth just make shit worse. It amazes me how much of a totally diffrent person Ive become since I quit using. My life has become nothing but better every single day!!! Ive discovered that I dont have to drown my pain with a glass pipe- because the pain goes away as long as I stay away from the the pipe. I really hope to become a chemical dependancy counselor and help people realize that theres life without drugs and its a good life. I feel really sad for all the children that are being born with meth in there system because this drug has such a hold on there mothers that they choose not to quit while there pregnant. I feel sad that there are probably thousands of children being raised by there grandparents or the system because there meth head parents dont give a damn about anything but getting high- or even worse think of all the children being raised by there meth head parents and the neglect there being put through. THIS SHITS INSANE ITS A GOD DAMN CRISIS WORST THAN CRACK IN MY OPINION AND NOBODY DOING SHIT ABOUT IT!!!!!!!! I will continue with my own recovery and pray for those who are still suffering in there addiction. If anyone would like to e-mail me feel free to click on my name and send me a message.

Vanessa said at December 15, 2005 11:09 PM:

I just wanted to say to anyone that is reading this and actively using meth or any drug for that matter that there is a better life you could be leading. I know that things happen and life sucks sometimes but drugs especially meth just make shit worse. It amazes me how much of a totally diffrent person Ive become since I quit using. My life has become nothing but better every single day!!! Ive discovered that I dont have to drown my pain with a glass pipe- because the pain goes away as long as I stay away from the the pipe. I really hope to become a chemical dependancy counselor and help people realize that theres life without drugs and its a good life. I feel really sad for all the children that are being born with meth in there system because this drug has such a hold on there mothers that they choose not to quit while there pregnant. I feel sad that there are probably thousands of children being raised by there grandparents or the system because there meth head parents dont give a damn about anything but getting high- or even worse think of all the children being raised by there meth head parents and the neglect there being put through. THIS SHITS INSANE ITS A GOD DAMN CRISIS WORST THAN CRACK IN MY OPINION AND NOBODY DOING SHIT ABOUT IT!!!!!!!! I will continue with my own recovery and pray for those who are still suffering in there addiction. If anyone would like to e-mail me feel free to click on my name and send me a message.

Vanessa said at December 15, 2005 11:09 PM:

I just wanted to say to anyone that is reading this and actively using meth or any drug for that matter that there is a better life you could be leading. I know that things happen and life sucks sometimes but drugs especially meth just make shit worse. It amazes me how much of a totally diffrent person Ive become since I quit using. My life has become nothing but better every single day!!! Ive discovered that I dont have to drown my pain with a glass pipe- because the pain goes away as long as I stay away from the the pipe. I really hope to become a chemical dependancy counselor and help people realize that theres life without drugs and its a good life. I feel really sad for all the children that are being born with meth in there system because this drug has such a hold on there mothers that they choose not to quit while there pregnant. I feel sad that there are probably thousands of children being raised by there grandparents or the system because there meth head parents dont give a damn about anything but getting high- or even worse think of all the children being raised by there meth head parents and the neglect there being put through. THIS SHITS INSANE ITS A GOD DAMN CRISIS WORST THAN CRACK IN MY OPINION AND NOBODY DOING SHIT ABOUT IT!!!!!!!! I will continue with my own recovery and pray for those who are still suffering in there addiction. If anyone would like to e-mail me feel free to click on my name and send me a message.

Vanessa said at December 28, 2005 10:03 PM:

CHECK THIS WEBSITE OUT IF YOUR SERIOUS ABOUT QUITTING METH-THEY HAVE LIVE CHAT 24HRS A DAY ITS GREAT
www.kci.com ITS AN ANTI-METH WEBSITE

Joy~ said at January 4, 2006 12:12 AM:

Well I would have to say that I am surprised to read all the information here because It all sounds like everything I am going (gone) through. I met my wonderful husband when I was only 15 yrs. old. I am 37 now. I started meth when I was only 16. My husband NEVER knew nor did my family or friends. I kept it all to myself. Well 16 years later I just broke!! I confessed to my husband that I was addicted to meth. So all those years he would think I was out late partying and having affairs, ect.. Well it was all not true. It was the drug I was after. And anyone who does the stuff, knows that sometimes it takes awhile to get it. Never know when blah blah.... Anyway yes my husband was so very hurt but all he wants to do is help me. Unbelievable this man is. He loves me no matter what and is always there for me. He is a non-user. Always has been. We have our own business on our land in a small town. We also have a 15 year old daughter, whom I love with all my heart! She has been through alot and is very smart when it comes to decisions on important things that pop up in her life. She is very much against any drugs of any sort. She is alot like her father, honest, kind, they are both the best thats ever happened to me. So why do I keep doing this f*88^% drug!!? When I know it's ruining my life. I have been on it since I was 15 now I am 37 so it's been I guess 22 years! And the truth is I quit when I found out I was going to have my child. For 11 months!!! Thats all and thats it. I started up again and have done it EVERYDAY since then. It's just horrible. I have always taken care of my daughter and everything and everyone else. I dont steal, and I dont hurt or take advantage of anyone purposely. I am not saying I am an angel (course not!) I am saying this drug has ahold of me but I still function. My doctor now knows of my problem and tries to help with my high blood pressure and I am hypothroid, so I take medication for them. I dont know!!! I REALLY want I mean REALLY WANT to quit. I want to WANT to quit! Does that make since to anyone!? I never have really tried to. I am afraid to I guess. Maybe I dont know how to! I just want to be normal and love my family and stop chooseing this drug over everything and everyone who loves me! For Christ sake cant they come up with some sort of solution for this!!? I have never been in trouble with the law or anything like that but I know it can happen! I feel so bad for all you people who are in the same boat as I am. I understand what your going through. I am glad I found this site because nobody here can understand what this is all about. Because they are not addicted to any drug. So they just cant understand. I do love my husband with all my heart. And I appreciate EVERYTHING he has done for me and went through for me. I just wished he really believed this. I just dont know what to do anymore. I think that really I am thankful for all I have because I never deserved any of it in the first place. Actually..... I am very lucky to have a wonderful man who would do anything to help me and he loves me no matter what. I know alot of addicts dont have anyone who cares or anyone to help them. I wish that I could help them sometimes, I feel so bad. But anyway I will be reading some more of this site. Thanks to you all.

Amber said at January 6, 2006 8:08 AM:

This is for Joy... Hi Joy man I read your story and believe me it sounds a lot like how my life used to be.... I hid my meth addiction from my family for as long as I could. I told my kids lie after lie including my parents. In regard to wanting to want to quit I understand, you've got to get to the wanting to quit then you might get it. I went through 3 treatments and have just finished my last one. I've got 7 months clean and that is the longest I've had in 11 years. I'm going to continue with sobriety and man it's gets so much better. It's sounds like you have a great family that is very supportive of you and that's what you need. I'll pray for you...

Vanessa said at January 12, 2006 7:37 AM:

I put the wrong web address above its www.kci.org not .com okay so you guys check that out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vanessa said at January 12, 2006 7:58 AM:

This poem is called walking down another street autobiography in 5 short chapters
CHAPTER 1
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost...I am helpless.
It isnt my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
CHAPTER 2
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I dont see it.
I fall in again.
I cant believe Im in this same place.
But,it isnt my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
CHAPTER 3
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in...its a habit...but,
my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately!!
CHAPTER 4
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it!!!
CHAPTER 5
I WALK DOWN ANOTHER STREET!!!!!!!!!!

NANCY said at January 19, 2006 12:26 AM:

I AM A LONG TERM USER, WHEN IS THE ANXEITY
GOING TO STOP, WILL I BE ABLE TO STILL WORK THROUGH WITHDRAWALS

Laura said at January 25, 2006 8:16 AM:

I was a meth user when I was 17 in high school. Got clean here in Vegas (drug court) and got pregnant. I met a guy when my baby was one and THERE I WENT AGAIN... he offered me some...
It was horrible. I became an iv drug user. PURE INSANITY. I had nothing left. I met my soon to be husband out there using and we got clean together. It's been more than three years now.. I haven't had one drug. I am sad sometimes because I know the talk that people have about people who don't match the worldly mold in their looks. I have gained a lot of weight. I have to remember that life is very good though. I remeber being so high and wishing I could just gain a POUND! haha! I have my kids back, two cars, four bedroom house.. all this I never had before. I would like to encourage you that even though life may not be what we want.. everything that truly matters begins when you decide to get clean and stay clean. Please feel free to look at my website.. I have pictures that show me before meth, mug shots of me when I was on meth, and my life now. thank you.. and.. god bless all who are trying to live drug free.
www.godrestores.com

wendy said at February 1, 2006 12:30 AM:

wow! im 38, and have been a user sinse 16 years old. i had a few life style changes thru out those 22 years, where meth wasnt a part, or a thought. 2-3 years after high school i was normal. then it enters in for a 6 year visit of taking control full force. i remarried and moved away in 1998, and it was a whole new daily living way of life again. i do remember it didnt leave my thoughts of wanting it during this shorter period, of less then 2 years. before the 90s ended i had found a connection-and it found me, and our relation was reunited, like it was my first real boyfriend you never forget. i started about 2x a month,paydays. i then got a great job oct2000 and had to stop. training was ruthless, and the first year was so much for such a dumbshit like me to actually be doing-and doing it like i had done it my whole life within the year. so i invited it back around this time to make life more exciting to get thru daily. making 53000.00 the 2nd year, it was truely now a part of my way of daily life for next 4yrs. until a random drug test aug2005 threw away it all cuz i choice it, and the belief of "it'll never happen to me" crank brains become washed into. (brain-washed) he he he. The last 6 months im either asleep, or stuffing my face with whatever food that sounds good,for those brief times of awakenings. my husband of the last 7 yrs, saved my soul from dispair, and wanting to die, with his great positives outlooks in all. he missed me being gone 5 nights a week-50hrs a week and our time together. we grossed 118,230.00 in the year 2004. we own our own home(the bank does til 2032), we own our vehicles free& clear, and had a savings acct. we r ok, no extra left over anymore. its me who is not ok. i go on a 50-100$ binger everyother weekend, he may take 2-3 hits but hes a normal person whos naturally content with himself, as himself. drinks beer on weekends, but doesnt get drunk. i wish i was a normal person, but i dont know if i ever can or will be. its like i want nothing to do with real life living. i have tried and failed soooo many times, ive lost all faith in any disapline i can endure. im ashamed, and embarrsed and i lost my proudness, and identity in this world. i want to hide and not think about it, or face the fact of my addiction, and losses to it. thanks 4 listening, it feels weird telling my most kept secret to someone, even to hear it myself.

Amber said at February 17, 2006 4:39 PM:

In March I will have 9 months of sobriety. Nine full months off of METH. That shit has fucked too many people's lives up. VANESSA - CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR LENGTH OF SOBRIETY KEEP GOING AND I'M GLAD WE RAN INTO EACHOTHER ON THIS SIGHT. WOW. To all the people still addicted to that shit. Please stop and take a look at yourself in the mirror. You're slowly killing yourself everyday. Think of all the people you've hurt. YOU, KIDS, PARENTS, anyone and everyone that loves you. This is kills. Kills feelings, love, your soul, anything and everything that was and is good in our lives. I'll pray for all of you.

addicted in tacoma said at February 21, 2006 8:11 AM:

hey, i've been sober now for almost one whole week. its been the hardest thing to do. when does this feeling of anxiety and being so drained and tired go away? i don't feel like myself at all. from what i've read here the tiredness never goes away. so whats the godamned point of quitting just so i can feel like a zombie???

Vanessa said at February 25, 2006 1:04 PM:

Congratulations to all those on here that are praising sobriety and good job on all the clean time!!!! Meth is hell and if you've done it you know that. Life without meth is bliss- If you dont believe me try it,you dont know what your missing!!! AMBER IM GLAD WE RAN INTO ONE ANOTHER ON HERE TOO YOU HAVE HONESTLY BEEN SUCH A GREAT FRIEND TO TALK TO ABOUT MY ADDICTION CAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT IM GOING THROUGH!!! FRIENDS FOREVER
Anyone else on here that needs someone to talk to feel free to e-mail me by clicking on my name or for some really great meth resources and chat room go to kci.org the anti meth website.

Eric said at February 26, 2006 8:04 PM:

Hello everyone, All's I have to say being sober for 8 months and 27 days is that life is SO much better than it was when I was using. I never smoked it or snorted it, I drank it. But my job,wife,job got lost in my 3 years of use.
GET off the shit NOW!! You will live and be loved and feel better!! METH IS CRAP!!

Randall Parker said at March 13, 2006 9:14 PM:

I delete comments that are in all capital letters. Do not post such comments.

B said at March 26, 2006 3:26 AM:

Alot of people on this site are telling their stories which is great. The there are the people who announce how many months and days they have been clean, and how great they feel. I need to know when is it actually that you start to feel great. I have been sober 2 months. All I do is sleep and eat. i have no energy at all. i dont feel great. When will this feeling of dispare end?????

Morgan said at April 1, 2006 2:36 AM:

I started using I think when I was fifteen. I'm twenty six now and still using. I've quit twice (weekend or one week abstinences don't count for me), the first time I really quit it was for three years. In that time I got a job, got my license back, and did heavy weight lifting. I decided to quit work and go to college. Looking back at my relapse triggers it might have been the watching of a video showing a man dying of heart attack (my father died of a heart attack to the month a year prior) that led me to leave school and go to an old friends place believing I could just visit and not use. A year and a half later I quit again and it lasted for about three months. Meth has almost always controlled my life. It tells me when to sleep, when to eat, when to leave the house, when to have sex, and even when to feed the dog, and when to answer the phone. It even tells me when I can get off this damn computer.
I'm supposed to be quitting tomorrow. I'm looking for anything besides cold turkey. A close friend of mine used Adderal and it worked for her. I used to get prescriptions of it but that was a long time ago. I have heard of some energy pills that work very well. I don't know the name but my friend said that when she took them she could walk into a house full of users that were using meth in front of her and she never felt the need to use once. I heard the pills can be bought at places like GNC, Walmart, and Walgreens for about thirty to forty dollars.
One thing that worked or helped for me the second time I used is quitting in the summer. In the summer the sun helps with depression and everyone lays around in a lawn chair or by the pool for hours. Besides, you'll get tan and hide all those scars faster.
If I find and try those pills for myself, I'll post again to give the name and how it worked.

MJ

dj said at May 6, 2006 12:44 AM:

My wife and I went through 1-2 ounces of meth every month for several years. We've been clean since october 2005. It was very easy to quit meth using GHB. GHB is illegal as well. However, if anyone is familiar with GHB you know that it was sold at GNC and other health food stores before it was made illegal. It's my understanding that the main reason it's illegal is that guys were using it as a date rape drug. Many doctors atest to the amazing effect that GHB has on your REM sleeping. Body builders used it for this reason. While you're in REM sleep, your muscles rebuild from all the tearing that happens during workouts, in turn making your muscles bigger. I believe your whole body repairs while you're sleeping on GHB. Including your brain. I'm still recovering from the damage, but I have noticed significant increase in my mental and emotional abilities in the past month. I've been off GHB for 2 months. I'm now drug free, have my own company and am fixing my life. My heart goes out to those still in the struggle.

***** Here's a link that gives hope to us all. It's an article by Fox which shows a study that the brain really does repair itself after chronic meth use.

http://foxnews.webmd.com/content/article/104/107244.htm?src=rss_foxnews

shell said at May 8, 2006 11:02 PM:

I'm 35 and I am on day 17 off meth. I did it for 3 years back when I was a teenager and then stopped because it caused me to get panic disorder. I was sober for just short of 10 years, when I met a guy last year, and codependently started experimenting with stimulants again with him. I was on other stimulants (adderall pills) for about 3 to 5 months, and then I used meth for the last six months.

Now, I feel like I cant concentrate, I cant focus. It almost feels like there is an invisible wall separating me from the feelings and abstract thoughts that used to be "me."
I am tired and withdrawn and sad. My boyfriend is away at treatment and I have let go of all the drug users we used to know. Now it's just me, alone and alienated from my family and my life.
I am scared that my mind will never come back to functioning like it used to. I feel the difference every day. Even though I used IV in the last month or two (swallowing and smoking previously) the amounts I used were always freakishly smaller than anyone else. It was this big mystery how I could get so so high on such a little amount, and never seemed to build up a tolerance. I guess I thought the small doses were also keeping me safe from the long term damage everyone talks about meth causing. Until the last time when I overdosed and paramedics had to come because my boyfriend had accidentally given me one of his shot doses instead of the small ones I was doing.
Now I am scared that I will never be the same because I realize that even in small doses, I was still effecting my brain enough to get high like everyone else who did bigger doses.

Does anyone have a story about how long it took for them to start to feel like they could focus and think again after stopping meth? Does anyone know any sites that provide info on how much meth you have to ingest (and for how long) to cause the kind of permanent damage to the brain that everyone talks about?

Tomorrow is day 18.

Todd said at August 14, 2006 10:49 AM:

I used for 2 years off and on. The quantities that i would use when smoking were not as much as typical users, though i didn't give my body much else to burn besides my self while using. Once i chose to quit, I felt completely disconnected from my former self, who i was prior to using the drug. It took tremendous amounts of energy to keep my self esteem up and that drive to get through the addiction. After a year or so, i began felling more receptive to emotions and my old self. Yet i wasn't quite back to being me again. Now almost 2 years clean, I feel dramatically better. My mind is in a better place and i can conduct logical and coherent thoughts in my mind which was taken away while doing meth. I feel much more attached to myself and others around me. Just get pass that first year and tell yourself every day that you will get back to being that person you were before entering that hellish life style. The brain can heal so much just by thinking positive and loving yourself. The mind is very powerful and its all how you view your situation.

Leslie said at August 17, 2006 1:18 PM:

I have a close friend who is currently a meth addict. He wants to stop. Any suggestions on how I can help. Anyway to decrease withdrawls without replacing one bad habit with another? (using like $1200 in a weekend)

Angel said at September 17, 2006 8:13 AM:

I'm trying to quit using meth for the 1000th time, but everytime I try to quit, I am sooooooooo tired and hungry and depressed that I always go back for one more line, you know? Does anyone have any input or suggestion on the supplement "Vitablend"? Yes, that be the powder that some greedy cooks or dealers put in their shit to make it go further; but, have you ever tried B-12 shots or Vitablend as a supplement? Maybe it would help some of us to get through the first 2 months cos honestly, all I want to do is sleep!!!!

fighterflight said at October 13, 2006 2:42 PM:

yeah you will sleep when you first get off of it. be realistic. you need to get treatment--anyone who wants to quit. you CAN'T do it on your own. it will take sometimes a year just to get physically normal. stop being so text book and telling yourself you can do it on your own. there are places to help with things like that. go to your family, or call your health insurance and see about your options... just whatever you do get help. your chances of making it sober on your own are very grim. the sooner you accept it the sooner you can actually move on with your life and stop just dreaming about it during especially high moments of wishful thinking. stop letting your life slip out from under you because as bad as you think it is now it is GUARANTEED to only get WORSE. and worse equals jail or death. period. by the way this isn't theoretics. i've been clean for nine months now and i've been in treatment more than once.

Gus said at October 22, 2006 10:40 PM:

I've quit smoking for close to a year now. I've done ice, crank, and glass for close to five years. I know the difference between the substances. Crank makes you alert, Ice get you dazed, and glass is like "pow". I'm a true screw up addict. It was harder then hell to quit, but now it seems like it should of been easy. I went to a rehab in Oklahoma that I told my parents I would agree to go too, after feeling like shit for almost pushing my Mom down a flight of stairs when she rang the door bell at the apartment I was smoking at. All she wanted to do was help me and I took it as a personal insult. Getting back to the reason I posted a comment on this "google searched" page. I don't remember alot of things from my past. I talk to some of my old friends that new me before I was a fuck up, and I really can't relate to them because I feel like a f-in idiot. I basically have no short term memory, which makes it hard to carry on a conversation with anyone. My spelling is horrible, and it definately did not used to be. In highschool I was in gifted and talented classes and didn't feel remotely close to suicidal. I'm depressed as hell. My outlook on my life is that I am an idiot, but I know it, which makes it unbelievably depressing. Not to mention that I have psychological problems. In example.....if someone is sitting face to face with me telling a story I cannot keep up with more then 7-8 words of it without my brain feeling like it's about to explode. I was just wondering if anyone had some suggestions on what pills that I might should be on, or if these are side effects of meth that last for a pre determined time. Please e-mail if someone out there really has some sort of factual clue about this. If you have any clue about what I'm rambeling about, you know how important this is.
Coolheat87@hotmail.com

Kayla said at February 17, 2007 8:34 AM:

Hi, My name is Kayla im 17 and yeah, 1st off i have really bad spelling so yeah im sorry if you cant read some of this....Anywho, I have a problem, "METH", I have been useing meth for a year 1/2, i started it because my boyfriend at the time Chris told me i should lose 25 pounds, i wasnt doing it that much...but i was starting to see a change in my looks and my personality, when i was comeing down i would act like a bitch to every one, including Chris.....one night it was so bad he dumped me.....thats what set me off...we dated for a year, and that was my 1st real/long relationship. when he dumped me i got really dismal, and thats when i found myself useing alot, to make myfeelings and myself numb....it made me happy for a wile, but when ever i got high by myself, i would think of him.....i cant stop this drug, i try and try, the longest i can go without it is like 5days...and the doc's wont put me in a rehab...what do i do.....Chris y did you fuck me up sooooooo bad?!!!!!!!!!!

kate said at March 2, 2007 1:15 PM:

anyone have a comment about "nodding off" while sitting still or driving a car? I can get my usual amount of sleep (5 hours) and have just finished getting high, yet sometimes I cannot keep my eyelids open to save my life! This is a horrible feeling to fight when your at work or on the road. I'm thinking even though I sleep, my lack of REM (no longer have dreams) may have something to do with it. Also, why do nightmares become so prevealent during withdrawal days?

Katie said at May 18, 2007 4:46 PM:

My mom has been doing meth for 11 years and i just recently found out. She has been married twice and divorced twice. She lost me and her younger daughter almost four months ago. It's hard to say that it doesn't effect your family because it does. you know alot of people would be happy to be living with somebody else (in my case my dad) but your mom will always be your mom no matter how pissed off you may be at her. I learned something a little but ago...YOU ARE NOT YOUR PAST!!!!! so please take my advice and just have the will power to get out. It will be hard and it will be painfull. I garentee that once you do stop using meth you will feel like you have accomplished something so important in your life you will not want to go back. I promise no matter who you are i do and always will believe that you can do this. This goes out to all the families, all the friends and anyone else who has been touched by this drug please help me and thousand other to RUN DRUGS OUT OF TOWN!!! I hope you get clean if you have been using and do it not just for your famiy but for yourself.

Violent Acres said at June 13, 2007 11:55 AM:

Would someone care to explain how they made the jump from "lowered metabolism" to "brain damage". Hell, *sleeping* will lower your metabolism. This sounds like typical ODCP bullshit.

Xyzzy said at June 13, 2007 4:27 PM:

I'm dubious of the "lowered metabolism" argument also. It seems perfectly reasonable that folks who are likely to take meth may be self-medicating a naturally lower level of "metabolism" or neurotransmitter levels. Based on the comments above, a lot of addicts seem to already have ADD/ADHD before becoming addicted.

Methamphetamine, amphetamine and ritalin are real good at amplifying internalized patterns, habits and models of reality. When those include a recent history of drug use and such, that's a problem. This is part of why these drugs work for ADD/ADHD - those folks are overly prone to sensory interruption in a fundamental level of the brain.

Normally you are balancing external inputs with and internal model of the world. It's the internal model and how it interacts over time with the rest of your brain that is your stream of consciousness. With ADD the internal model use is interrupted by sensory inputs. Normally the sensory inputs are desired to correct what's discovered to be wrong with the internal model. With ADD there is too much corrective info coming in so the stream of consciousness fragments and you have attention problems. These drugs actually speed up the internal model processes so that external sensory data can no longer keep up (that's mechanics of where the paradoxical "stimulants calming you down" comes from). I didn't know this was how it worked when I first start taking meds for ADD but I had exactly the sensation that I was suddenly "running past side-streets so fast" that what would normally grab attention in those side streets now just didn't get noticed. I suddenly could focus attention. I later read this explanation on a neurochemistry blog and it seemed obvious.

Folks who are getting off meth start having predictable symptoms based on the description above; basically you are getting "ADD".

Point of Trivia:

Methamphetamine was also used by Germany during WWII: the blitzkrieg was successful primarily because of 1) the organizational structure innovation (pushing down authority, management by object, etc. was invented by the German army) and 2) every German soldier was supplied with a regular daily dose of methamphetamine during most of the war. Makes you wonder if they stumbled and lost the war because of side effects or because the supply got cut off by bombing, rather than the history book reasons. I wonder if there are studies about how all those solders coped with getting off meth after several years of use.

vanesssa said at September 19, 2007 11:44 PM:

please scroll up and read my past entries!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am still here for anyone who needs me DONT HESITATE TO CLICK ON MY NAME AND E MAIL ME ANYTHING!!!!! i have been clean for 2 years on 9/3/07 and i am overjoyed to answer anyone about meth...

Katie said at November 17, 2007 8:15 PM:

Hey Vanessa,

I was a meth user fo 4 years. I had to move away from San Diego to be able to quit. I have been back home in St. Louis fo 1 year. I relapsed during some traveling to New York and San Diego during the past year, but it was only for 3-4 days at a time. It has been 6 months now since I've used, and I feel fantastic and strong. I no longer crave. Life is good. However, whenever I get into a relationship, if I confide in the person about my past drug use, they FREAK out. One guy already jumped ship, and I'm about to lose the second guy that I've tried having a relationship with because they think I will relapse again. I am confident that my days of meth use are over and done with. Any advise for how to have a normal relationship after/during recovery?

Tim said at January 7, 2008 11:09 AM:

Whatever the mind can concieve... It can achieve! by Norman Vincient Peal

vanessa said at February 28, 2008 1:06 PM:

Katie-- Dont be discouraged - if the guy cant handle you being truthful with him then the hell with him. You will find someone who will accept you and all your faults (even if they are ancient history). If its meant to be that guy will come back to you and realize he made a mistake leaving you for something that you did long ago before you knew him. Just keep your head up and it will all fall into place - believe me. Vanessa

TRBLSM96 said at March 16, 2008 3:26 AM:

Everyone please check out BLOOD DEFICIENCY. Since childhood I have always had difficulty concentrating and just thinking clearly. Recently my mother introduced me to a doctor who had my blood tested. The report we received back was astonishing. I was deficient in copper and another mineral that your body is supposed to produce naturally. Apparently these deficiencies are in my heritage. There has been a comprehensive study done about people also naturally mineral deficient and more than 80% had the same attributes of lack of focus and bad decision making. A lot of these people were in jail. Since I have begun taking the supplements I cannot begin to explain the overall improvement. My brain now functions as it should! Thinking is so much more fluid and natural. Communicating with others is no longer an arduous task, it is rewarding! I know this story isn't directly associated with meth addiction but when I have also been an infrequent user. I would associate many people's decision to take meth with blood deficiency. If everyone had the right body chemistry in the first place maybe the temptation of meth would not be so attractive. I also used to have things in my head telling me I was useless, telling me I wasn't good enough and insufficient. Since I brought these minerals back to their normal levels, these thoughts I believe are associated with depression (linking straight back to the deficiency) have rapidly disappeared.

With meth, i believe it to be the most dangerous drug in existence. It WILL drive you to end up either in jail, in hospital or dead. The reason I even looked at this post was because I was concerned about the permanent effects meth has on your brain as each time I have used it, It is all but apparent to me I am making myself stupider. I can actually feel myself becoming dumber with each usage! You don't want to fry your brain because after stimulating it so much (excessive release of dopamine & ceratonin) it will start to produce less and less and these are the chemicals that make you feel good! So essentially you are setting yourself up to feel like shit 24/7 in the near future. Trust me you can do weed & alcohol on a regular basis but the damage comes no where NEAR as close as the result of using meth. As other people have also indicated, ALL of the people I know who have developed even a small crack addiction have become a ghost of their former selves. Many of them have become psychotic and have turned on their friends (it warps your perception trust me i know from experience!!!).

RAUL said at March 27, 2008 3:31 PM:

I NEVER USED METH BUT MY GOOD FRIEND DID AND ON SATURDAY HE IS GOING TO GIVE HIS TESTIMONY AT OUR CHURCH THE DOOR CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP, I WAS ADDICTED TO JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE AND I'M NOT SAYING WEED, COKE, DRANK, SHROOMS, ASID ECT, IS THE SAME AS METH BUT I KNOW THAT ME AND MY FRIEND John were saved by the same GOD!!!!!!!! JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!! THIS DRUG IS JUST ANOTHER SIN THAT HOLDS PEOPLE BOUND AND ENSLAVED THEM AND HAS CONTROL OVER YOU JUST THE WAY MY SIN HAD CONTROL OVER ME.THE BIBLE SAYS THAT " WHOEVER COMMITS SIN IS A SLAVE TO SIN! JOHN 8:34
BUT THE BIBLE ALSO DECLARES THAT HE WHO THE SON SETS FREE SHALL BE FREE INDEED!!!!!!!!!!! GIVE YOUR LIFE TO GOD HE IS THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN HELP YOU.

George said at April 24, 2008 10:14 PM:

I'm 66 years old. I was a heavy meth user for about 2-3 years, 42-45 years ago. I'm here to tell you that when you get off and stay off and cultivate positive health, emotional, and spiritual habits, your life just keeps getting better. In the first days of recovery I dreamed I was lying at the bottom of a well and looking up at a tiny star in the sky past the mouth of the well. I realized that if I stayed clean and followed the light, I would gradually rise toward it until it would enfold me completely. Even in the worst days of recovery, I had constant faith and prayed continually - and I had experiences every day that encouraged me to continue. I made God prove Himself - prayed not with blind faith but with insistent expectation. Now, at age 66, I'm extremely fit, in a good long-term relationship. Remember: recovery begins with the body - get clean, eat well, get fit, one small step at a time, and you will find your body helping your mind and emotions where it formerly tore them down. A fit, well-fed body has energy that flows into your heart and mind, giving you desire for "more and better."

Dylan said at July 16, 2008 3:11 AM:

hi, not sure if any one is still reading this forum but if some one is, i was an addict for about 3 years, which i know is a scratch compared to others, im 19 right now and have been clean for about 2 years. I was using about 2-3+ g/day and mainly with a girlfriend whom i was basically living with. I was arrested and cut off cold turkey, as well cutoff from my girlfriend (more like fiance) Caught up around 17 i was locked down with my girl sent off somewhere (which made it 100x worse). In lock down i sslloowwllyy recovered, and understood the meaning of this fresh hell. And eventually i appreciated being clean. To avoid relapse WEED helps at least for me. I was a hs drop out w/ no job who stole from anyone and sold/used many drugs and had nothing but drugs, pipes, and some clothes. and 2 years later im in the middle of an engineering degree, i have my own recording studio and take care of my ill/elderly grandparents.

I have probably encountered some damage, i do get shaky sometimes and have spasms, i stutter more than i used to, and should probably get my heart checked out, but after 6 months, side effects really decreased, but are not eliminated.

I am having a hard time lately though (more like the last 4 months). For me there was this magical/ very very weird/ shitty/ movie like world that came along with using. This world has a very very very very...strong "feel" to it. Which is now driving me insane (because i want it agian, not the tweekey high, just the world. its hard to explain.) its not like i want the high w/ out the cons, it different. if anyone knows what im talking about and has any advice for getting through this i am all ears. evaunitzero1@gmail.com (im in fresno area)(i have a feeling it has to do with the environment perceived with high levels of pleasure bio-chemicals, but in a less direct way, with more mental-environmental links, as well the introduction of very "feely" thing, eg. raves, physics, music based nigh life)

and to those who are struggling in the world of amphetamines, im not going to lecture you, all i have to say is; if you sick of being tired, and sick of feigning, and sick of avoiding, and sick of paranoia, and sick of stealing, and sick of other tweakers, and sick of hustling, and sick of being dirty, and sick of being in dirty places, and sick of being sick, and sick of everything. Than you are sick of using dope.

Good luck to everyone who has killed the giant gorilla trying to burrow into your spine. I am praying for you all. KEEP STRONG!!! SHOW THAT SHIT WHO'S BOSS!

stephani said at August 27, 2008 6:16 AM:

i am 4 years clean after shooting a gram a day for 3 years, i often think im crazy, or like im not the same as i was before ice, i can not control my anger, i cry alot and have cut myself more scince i stopped meth its a realese my husband tells me to grow up but there really is something inside that snaps and i have to free it i feel like i have some sort of brain damage, my memory is bad and i always feel alone or like i will be any moment every one around me suffers more know then when i was banging dope, after 4 years the side effects are still here and i often think ther is no hope because no one understands what is going on in my mind please help me

James said at September 9, 2008 9:13 PM:

Clean now for 5 months, after ten years of this sh*#t. Anyway, I found that there is only one thing that works after the initial 2 weeks of madness. EXERCISE. I put on my running shoes and started running. Even when I thought I wouldnt run I still put them on and went and sat outside. Sometimes id run, sometimes i would go back inside for lack of energy. The more I ran, the more I was able to run. I have been running until I puke now for a week and it is as if all that sweat coming out of me is sucking the years of crap from my body. I can feel myself "cleaner" after every run. The brain chemicals released after such strenious exercise if about halfway the high I used to get. But its natural.

So - how to get of this crap? RUN. RUN like you have never run before. Run out your anger, your frustration, your thoughts. Run until you are empty and blank. Run until you are a new person then run some more. When you crave, run. When you start blaming the world, run. RUN RUN RUN.

I have read that the depression never goes away as that part of the brain is permanently affected. Well, they clearly didnt run their tests on people who started exercising after going clean. Some days I wake up with such energy and glee that I need to take a few breaths just to keep calm.

People unerestimate the bodies ability to heal itself given the right conditions. The conditions our ancestors lived with every day. Exercise, activity, and unprocessed natural foods and drinks. Veggies, fruit, fresh meat and water - and of course - RUN! Its all you need. No pills, no synthetic solution to your synthetic problem. ALL NATURAL! Trust in it, it worked for me and I hope it works for you!

Lesa. said at October 23, 2008 11:14 PM:

I'm 45 years old. I started with lines the first six years of my addiction and smoked it everyday for the next 10 years. was a functioning addict, never missing a day of work. I kept my addiction hidden and nobody knew. Last Feb 13th 2008, I quit on my own. My boyfriend, who has been clean for nine years now, never knew the sober me, ever. Before I quit, we lived together, him sober, me high. After I quit last Feb, it felt good to finally know myself again and my personality came out in a huge way. I looked different, better, to a point. I laughed and loved being around others. When I was high, on meth, I didn't mind being alone, tweaking, by myself, for days. Once sober, I had planned on getting a full time job to throw myself into and eventually have a normal life. I got a new job and thought I could work during the day while my boyfriend worked as a tow truck driver from 10 am to 10 pm five days a week. My job didn't end up giving me many hours, only one day a week. I found myself at home, everyday, alone. I did renew my license, and had the car. The highlight of my day was to get up and drive to Starbucks for coffee and back home again. I went on my computer to keep from being bored, but I ended up sitting there for hours,on one or two websites, snacking and getting all stiff jointed and miserable, and alone. I had no urge to do housework, dishes sat for days. All I kept thinking was "hell, I used to be on my own for hours on end when I was high, loved it, and kept my house cleaner" I would be at my computer all high on meth, and surf for hours to many different sites, reading, posting and learning, and having a ball.

Now, the clean and sober me, began to put on weight, and sit alone day after day, only working one day a week, when all I wanted to do was to kick ass, at a job, come home and fall into bed tired. The sober me had trouble falling asleep every night and when I woke up, I started wanting to sleep in as long as I could, to make the day go by quicker. Soon depression set in, my house was a cluttered mess, I would take it out on my boyfriend, about his long hours, I was getting fat, I would lash out in unpredictable, bipolar ways. If I was with family, and around people, I was fine, but alone, I was spiralling down, fast. It became more than I could handle and figured I might as well get high, since I'm here all alone, everyday, in a dirty house.

I picked up twenty dollars worth, did a line the size of a matchhead, and Booya!! I was off and running. My boyfriend knew that I got it, and was glad to see me busy, and not sitting bitching and moaning. No messin around, I cleared, cleaned, de-cluttered, my house and was on cloud nine. When my boyfriend came home, and tryed to hold conversation with me, I was non-talkative and didn't want no part of conversing. When I got clean, me and him would laugh and talk for hours, when he was home. Not now, not when I was high again. He gave up and went to watch TV. I went back to cleaning out drawers. When I ran out of dope, I slept so good, without forcing myself to. Two days later, I was dragging, and got another bag. Cleaned the house even more, was not bored during the day, and lost ten pounds. Two days later, I was coming down hard. I didn't want to get more speed, I wanted to get my house clean and take a break from meth, but no. That was earlier this week, I ended up getting another bag, and here I sit. I just did my last line, and am going to try to come down and not get any more. I am going to try to get another job, with more days and be normal again. I hope I don't gain weight this time, or throw tantrums. Wish me luck.

Jane Doe in AZ said at October 27, 2008 12:16 PM:

I used Coke and Meth for almost 5 years straight - DAILY! One day I just decided enough is enough, and I'm so glad I did. That was it, I quit - COLD TURKEY, and I haven't so much as to teased myself with idea of EVER doing it again. I just wish I could lose the 40lbs I gained since quitting - THAT'S THE WORST PART FOR ME!!!

Lesa. said at October 27, 2008 1:50 PM:

Lesa here. Back after I quit meth for the second time, after my week and half relapse. Day one with no meth, I got up and made toast with margerine and peanut butter.Drank alot of water. Drank a potassium mineral supplement I have, and drank a mix of Emergen C energy mix. I felt ok and often do the day after quitting meth, it's the next few days, that worry me. I stayed awake most of the day watching tv and made a few small meals, avoiding sugar and grease. Went to bed and slept well.

Day 2 after stopping meth. Woke up with a killer toothache, realy bad one. made peanutbutter toast again, and more water. Stayed in bed dozing off and on when tooth pain lessoned. Drank another Emergen C drink mix. Toothache kept me awake most of the day, watched tv from bed. That night, I ate pasta and burrito, toothache went away, I slept well.

Day 3 woke up early, but was realy tired. Too tired to get up. Tossed and turned restless, you know the drill. No apetite. My brain was neither here nor there. Just wanted to sleep deep, but couldn't. Feeling weak and uninterested in anything, I forced myself to get up, make peanut butter toast, and instant coffee. Potassium and Vitamin C drink. Turned on the livingroom tv, sat at my computer, not wanting to do either, but hung in there. Feeling out of sorts, but know I can't go back and lay down, or my muscles will weaken more and I'll be screwed. I forced myself to become interested in tv, and started posting at my usual blog sites. Boyfriend brought Taco Bell home for lunch, I macked out on that. 2:00 pm, I've been up and out of bed since 11:00 am this morning. I am just starting to awaken, a bit, but still feeling a little weak and wanting to sleep. I will hold out for as long as I can. If I can stay out of bed untill 9 pm tonight, I'll be good. I'll sleep tonight, and I have to work tomorrow at 11:45 am. That will keep me busy and out of the house and on my way to being clean. I'll keep ya'll posted.

Lesa. said at October 27, 2008 2:29 PM:

To the guy who talked about that surreal, great, scary movie feeling while on meth, I know just what you mean. Meth makes it possible to become overly interested in the smallest, everyday things. Sometimes after being up for a day or two, this dreamy feeling comes over you. You laugh at anything, and become witty and start to see things, at the same time, you're dumbfounded and not right to drive or operate heavy machinery. It's a rare, but great feeling I've felt being on meth after being up for a day or two. You come home, you have great sex, you sleep great, untill you wake up days later and feel like shit. Yes,I know that feeling.

Randall Parker said at October 27, 2008 6:39 PM:

Lesa,

I'm watching your posts every day. I hope you stay clean.

Some suggestions: Omega 3 fatty acid pills (or eat some salmon) will help your brain repair. Vegetables and fruits too.

Lesa. said at November 2, 2008 2:41 PM:

Lesa here. I'm still clean after my relapse of not one week, but after looking back it was a month. I left off on Oct 27.

Oct 28th - I got up to start getting ready for work. kind of felt crappy, my brain was kinda buzzin about nothin. I took a shower, and that made me feel better. Took my vitamin drinks, made an instant coffee. (Warning-my dealer called to tell me some good stuff was around.. I said "NOPE TO THE DOPE" wanted to follow through with my getting clean plan. Still had no interest in life in general, but kept goin and drove to work. I was working from 11:45 am to 5:30 pm. I work as a crowd control usher for a huge auditorium, they put me just standing there greeting people who were going to convention meetings. Lunch came around, and I downed a cup a soup with eagerness, and a half of pack of small choco donuts with hot chocolate. felt pretty good, but still exhausted deep down inside.

I feel the key is to keep busy with a job you know you have to get up and go to, or do. It keeps you outa that bed!

My personality started coming back half way through the day, and I was feeling better, went to change outa my uniform in the changing rooms at work, and on my way out, got a huge tuna sandwitch with a huge leafy green lettuce in the middle, outa the machine. My goal this time is to eat healthy, cept for the donuts and hot chocolate, back on track with the tuna sand. I munched on that, like a mad women, driving home. Got home, boyfriend was there, its his day off, I felt good and we went and got chinese food, and brought it home. went to bed early, slept well.

Oct 29 - woke up feeling weak and restless, and kinda hopeless, but not feeling like using at all the past couple days. My guy and I went shopping and tried to keep me outa the house so I wouldn't end up sitting on the couch with my head in my hands, getting bored and depressed. We were gone most of the day, I was feeling more normal by the minute while we were out. We laughed and he told me he was glad to have me back again after that month of the tweaker me.(that alone is worth it)

( My relapse was sort of planned on purpose, to get my lazy, bored, self up and in one month, doing lines, I cleaned out every drawer and closet in my house, throwing away lotsa stuff and filling six donation bags for the truck. When I was done, and my home is totally de-cluttered now, I planned on stopping using when my house was clean, and this is my story about that stopping after that one month of using. This relapse after being clean for six months, took alot outa me. I got alot of stuff done, but felt like a truck ran over me after not eating alot for that month and my kidney's were hurting(another WARNING sign) I'm too old to be doing this shit! I love the shit! no other drug can make me act like I'm on cruize control, walking up to a totally messy junk drawer, and start sorting through like a robot till it is spotless and clean, in twenty minutes flat. But... no other drug makes me feel like total crap, with my kidneys and teeth hurting, making me fear for my life wondering if I'm getting kidney failure from "this drug". Such a love hate relationship, innit? Also, no other drug takes my whole personality away and turns me into a robot leaving my guy to sit alone as I wiz passed him, never once stopping to look at him or talk to him. That is why I planned on stopping this time and for good! I just wanted to start this real, for good, sobriety with a spotless decluttered house. What's funny is most of the stuff I got rid of this time, was useless junk I thought was important from the last time I used and would dumpster dive for. Got rid of it all, and wanting to start a new life.)

Oct 30 - Woke up at 10'ish, still wake up with that hopeless feeling. Work is slowed to only one day a week. Took vitamins, ate toast and leftover chinese food. My guy's back at work till 10 pm, every day and night with Tuesdays and weds. off. Twelve whole hours I'm here by myself, if Im not working. That is my downfall and my major problem. I drive, and can go shopping, but my brakes went out today. So here Im stuck. Went on the computer to the meth chat rooms and my usual blogging site. During my last six months being sober, I took up writing. mostly about my meth memoirs and living on the streets back from 1996 to 1998. Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew is on VH1, I'm clinging to that show watching them over and over again. Meetings don't seem to help me for some reason, meth chat rooms and that show, do. The first rehab with Dr. Drew was on last Feb 2008, when I was first quitting after my ten-plus years of smoking the glass pipe, non-stop. Plus I used 3.0 street bar xanax, for a month just before quittiing the meth pipe, so was coming down off of both at the same time.

Oct 31 - Ok, my main problem is waking up with no goal or major plans for the day. I'm getting back to normal. My eyes are getting bluer(one sign of sobriety is bright eyes) While still having that hopeless feeling upon waking, I get myself up and force myself to come out to the livingroom and turn on my tv and computer. My kidneys are hurting less, but I still drink water and juices, trying to keep healthy foods around. I've applied for medical coverage for low income, but that won't be ok'd for eight weeks. When it is, they will assigne me doc to go and get a check up. I did the dishes for the first time in a week too...yippie!! Nighttime came along with trick or treaters, I handed out candy and that kept me busy. The boredom, ohh the boredom is a killer. specially with my car not running. One Mother F%cking day, minute, at a time yo!

Nov 1& 2 - Same as the other days...bored! no car till next tuesday when my guy can fix it on his day off. This is my major problem now, my boredom. For a split second...the thoughts of using flashed through my mind. If I can find a way to keep busy, or a different job that has me working, alot! I might not make it. Right now, posting this is taking up my time of boredom and Celeb rehab is on tv in the background. I am good for the moment. I will try everything in my power to "NOT USE" I think I'll be ok. I Don't feel like that kidney and teeth pain again. I just want to get out into the world and live it around people and live!!!!!!!! (tears welling up in my eyes) just like every other day, did I forget to talk about the weepy emotional side of me for the last week, it's normal as you all know. kind of feels good to cry after all those years of being un-emtional-less from being high on the shit.

I will be back...clean and sober. Wish me luck...Yippie...I love you all and will pray for us all!!!! Yee haw!!!

Polly said at November 4, 2008 11:37 AM:

Please let me share my sister's experience with meth with you. She did not start using meth until she was 54 years old. She continued to use it for 4 years, day & night. She disappeared from her family's lives. Had two grandchildren she has never seen. Sometimes when I would speak to her on the phone she would talk about bugs everywhere and on her body. She would try to go to rehab, but would not stay long, because she needed to get more meth.
She say's now she hasen't used meth for about a year. She can barely get out of bed, has no emotions, severly depressed, her brain has been damaged. She is under a doctor's care and he says it could take up to five years for her brain to recover if at all. She has no life anymore, such a sad thing to witness. Please let this be a warning to all.

az said at April 28, 2009 6:53 PM:

hey guys. I got good news. I was a meth user for about 4 years. I lost everything. My kids, my husband, my self worth, my dignity, everything!!! I have been clean now for 4years and one month. My best secret to staying off is to MOVE and find friends that are not users. I know that no matter where you go today you can find it, but you have to keep trying and remind yourself how much better your life is without it. It took 3 months in a lockup treatment facility and another 2 months in a halfway house to get me clean and trust me, the cravings were horendous!! but you have to be strong, cuz like they say, you go right back to where you were when you stopped. Ive seen many people who want to quit and they use other drugs to help them, but that only makes them addicted to the other drug. I had to hit bottom before I got help and bottom for me was getting beat several times a day and loosing everything that was important to me. On the upside, since ive been clean, Ive got a new, wonderful husband and am working on fixing my relationship with my kids. You cant take back the past, but you have power over your future!!!! Good luck!!!

MELDY said at June 30, 2009 10:35 PM:

HI IM NOT A METH USER BUT I MET THIS WONDERFUL GUY HIS AND ADDICT A TWEAKER LIKE OTHER PEOPLE MAY CALL IT IM 36 YEAR OLD FEMALE WHO HAS A GOOD JOB A HOUSE AND THREE WONDERFUL KIDS MY BOYFRIEND WHOM I BEEN WITH FOR ONE YEAR AND ONE MONTH IS ADDICTED TO THIS TERRIBLE DRUG HIS NOT THE TIPICAL METH DRUG ADDICT HE STAYS UP FOR DAYS AND DOES NOT HAVE A JOB LOST ALOT OF THINGS IN HIS LIFE BUT NOW HE HAS ME I WANT TO HELP HIM HE HAS NEVER STOLD FROM ME OR ANY OF HIS FAMILY MEMBERS HE IS A VERY GIVING PERSON WHEN HE MAKES MONEY HE ALWAYS THINKS ABOUT ME AND HIS FAMILY FIRST AND STAYS WITH LITTLE BIT OF MONEY FOR HIS DOPE FOR EXAMPLE IF HE MAKES 100 DOLLARS HE WILL GIVE ME MONEY AND HIS FAMILY AND EVEN MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER AND HE WILL STAY WITH 20 DOLLARS SO HE DOSENT REALLY STAY WITH MUCH IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS HE HAS BEEN USING FOR TWO AND A HALF YEARS AND WANTS TO QUIT HE NOW USES CAUSE HIS BODY NEEDS IT BUT IS TIRED OF IT HE HAS A GREAT HEART AND IT HASENT CHANGED THE MAN THAT HE IS ALTHOUGH HE DOSENT TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF HE HAS LOST ALOT WEIGHT AND IS UP ALL NIGHT HE JUST SPENDS ALOT OF TIME HOME ONLY GOES OUT TO GET HIS DRUG HE HAS A BAD TEMPER BUT HE CONTROLS IT AROUND ME AND MY KIDS AND HIS FAMILY BUT CAN BE REALLY MEAN TO OTHER PEOPLE ALOT OF HIS FRIENDS FEAR HIM I CARE ABOUT HIM ALOT AND HE MEANS ALOT TO ME I WANT TO HELP HIM HE WILL SOON BE IN MY INSURANCE AND HE IS LOOKING FORWARD TO A DRUG IN PATIENT PROGRAM THAT I HAVE SELECTED FOR HIM ALOT OF MY FRIENDS THINK HE IS A LOST CASE BUT I DONT I REALLY BELIEVE HE CAN GET BETTER I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR HIM DOES ANY ONE THINK HE WILL GET BETTER? I ALWAYS GET UP EARLY IN THE MORNING AND MAKE SURE HE EATS BREAKFAST BEFORE I LEAVE TO WORK AND AS SOON AS I GET HOME FIX HIM DINNER AND MAKE HIM EAT AND HE ALWAYS DOES HE ALWAYS THANKS ME FOR IT HE ALWAYS APPRECIATES WHAT I DO FOR HIM AND ALWAYS BUT ALWAYS SAYS THANK YOU FOR MY COOKING AND ANYTHING THAT I DO FOR HIM HE IS A VERY VERY SMART GUY BUT THE ONLY PROBLEM IS THE ADDICTION TO METH.ANY POSSITIVE COMMENT ANYONE HAS? SUGGESTIONS?

am_i_dieing said at September 1, 2009 8:36 PM:

hi im 20 and started when i was 18 nearly 19 and dint realise that taking pill would lead to me wanting more i started pills at 18 got kicked out of my dads and and by the time i was 19 i was trying mdma not understanding what i was doing i thought it was call the next step i.e the pure one the good high what a fool i am how could i belive such lies i then moved on to the less brown coloured one more cloudy white i thought wow it lasts longer but i never thought from the begining hour my rage was getting worse how my chisled body is turning to a bag of bones then my gf is handing my some silverish crystal the same lookin but clearer and smelt like childs piss im thinkin wtf is this thit it aint mdma its smells funny but tryed it it didnt work for 2 hours then i relised i have been talkin about the planets the sky and the birds my convo is so indeph and interlectial or is it because im so mash tht i think it is i continued to take the cloudy mdma or mda cos never can trust a dealer they out to fuck you up but i went prison for robbing some1 im clean but its good i wanted to stop b4 i went in but now im out ive been noticing my body aches and burns my vision goes cloudy and warps and my jaw spasms outmy muscles twitch sometime i go hot and cold for no reason wtf is happening to me is it to late for the 2 years abuse am i 1 of the unlucky ones is my body slowly eroding away am i realy ding i was only on it for 2 year ok after half a year on pills i hit them everyday gave up stated mdma every weekend then everyday i just dont feal right if i would have know that battery acid, umonea and sht loads more was in this sht i would have beat the sht out of the dealer tht first sold it to me and moved my friends away b4 the slowly turnd to dust omfg what have i done i h8 me so bad and i cant talk to none but my pc and you people i dont know i got off this drug cold turkey no rehab no vitamin drip fuck all i wish i never took it in the first place my dead friends lives i took me by giving them this drug cos i belived it was a cool thing cos my other m8s was doing it if it wasent for my stupidity they would still be here now

Micheal Allen said at September 14, 2009 11:59 AM:

I have used opiates, weed, cocaine, and alcohol since i was 14. I was always the guy at the party who could drink more, smoke more, and snort more than any other mother fucker. For 4 years i used alcohol, weed, and opiates daily not thinking i had a problem, then i met meth, i snorted a 20 and from that moment i was addicted, i did about a gram a day everyday for about three months(my longest break was a day) about the last month and a half i started slamming, about a teener a day, or a ball. The things i have done to suport my disease scare the hell out of me still, i now owe over 6,000 dollars in debt, have sold almost every i and my family own, lost my job, i might be facing 2 1/2 years in prison, I have lost 60 pounds, and my arms are covered with track marks, all my loved ones have lost all trust respect for me. Meth is truly evil, it took me down in a way nothing else could have. i have abused drugs and alcohol for five years(im 19 now) I am sober from alcohol for 8 months, sober from meth for 11 days sober from opiates for 8 days. And i have never felt more free in my intire life...Each day is living hell, but at least im alive. And i can promise you all this....i Am never going back to that life again. Feel free to email me if anyone needs to talk or help recoverying

Mas_44@msn.com

Micheal Allen said at September 14, 2009 12:00 PM:

I have used opiates, weed, cocaine, and alcohol since i was 14. I was always the guy at the party who could drink more, smoke more, and snort more than any other mother fucker. For 4 years i used alcohol, weed, and opiates daily not thinking i had a problem, then i met meth, i snorted a 20 and from that moment i was addicted, i did about a gram a day everyday for about three months(my longest break was a day) about the last month and a half i started slamming, about a teener a day, or a ball. The things i have done to suport my disease scare the hell out of me still, i now owe over 6,000 dollars in debt, have sold almost every i and my family own, lost my job, i might be facing 2 1/2 years in prison, I have lost 60 pounds, and my arms are covered with track marks, all my loved ones have lost all trust respect for me. Meth is truly evil, it took me down in a way nothing else could have. i have abused drugs and alcohol for five years(im 19 now) I am sober from alcohol for 8 months, sober from meth for 11 days sober from opiates for 8 days. And i have never felt more free in my intire life...Each day is living hell, but at least im alive. And i can promise you all this....i Am never going back to that life again. Feel free to email me if anyone needs to talk or help recoverying

Mas_44@msn.com

connie marchetti said at June 21, 2011 1:08 AM:

listen everyone i used for 20 yrs. have recently stopped cold turkey you have to make up your mind to stop and do it dont talk your self into all of the horrible syptoms that come with burning out i think some of it has to be all phsychological because every other time i tried to stop i would experience the same things, the lack of energy, wanting to sleep the general lack of any kind of joy, or life just feeling dull and grey but this time is differant i entered into this recovery with a sense of not letting the depression and everything that comes with not using get to me to push through it stick with it ive been taking vitamins wich really seem to help check out the addicts attic for info on foods that aid recovery for us meth addicts also i have been exercising since day one not staying in that horizontal haze i think that its the combo of no exercise and poor diet that kills us in recovery i feel great life is vivid i'm so excited to have that monkey off my back sure i have gain a couple of pounds but its a badge of honor to me i wear them proudly i just think if you dont just sleep through your recovery you actually feel better faster so get up and get moving no matter how hard it seems to be just put 1 foot in front of the other and walk even if its in circles you will feel better. There is no better feeling than sobriety i never thought i would ever feel this way but miracles do happen i am one so dont lose hope or listen to all the naysayers you can feel better get clean and stay clean i promise now life is brand new and im looking at turning fifty july 2 clean and solber yeah me good luck to you all remember your not alone

KC.TEH said at September 28, 2011 11:42 AM:

I have been stopped using meth for 7 months.I'm feeling so bad for my body and mind that 2 of them can't co-operate and functioning well.When i'm trying to used my Mind to think,plan or Memorizes something,or calculation on Maths..vetory hard and stuck over.I do exercise now but still facing such problems happen me..I feel my brain cannot think well,low motivation,scare meeting people,hard to talk (speechless) When i'm talking i don't know what am i talking about and miss topic sometimes.

I feel scared,paranoia.......when i will totally recovered..?God please help me,i'm clean for 7 months now,i wish i will recovered from this illness.....please everyone don't try meth,it's EVIL

Rebecca said at December 11, 2011 8:33 PM:

I noticed that every time I stopped using meth in the past my lower back where my kidneys are located would hurt for a few days but never hurt while I was still using, i recently stopped using once and for all and my right kidney hurts worse than it ever did before, and I can't bend over and I have a difficult time getting out of bed, it hurts to even walk. Has anyone else experienced kidney pain when quitting meth? Also my right ankle is swollen and blue, Its interesting that only my right side has issues.

Anonymous said at February 27, 2013 7:02 AM:

everyday smoke crystal meth from 2003. now still on. no problem at all, im healthy and life is wonderful. always alone coz hard to find good friends among us. after be a wife about 2 years i not working anymore ,start slow down meth but still take in small 0.25g doses for save money coz my hubby smoke too. sometimes no money and no smoke. my body start pain and spent more then half day sleeping. after on and off 1 and 1/2 year my back waist and knee bad pain. at nov 02 my foot hurt pain. cant walk coz ankle joint and toe so much pain. now after 2 month my feet and ankle area swollen bit bigger seem like have fluid in. but luckily it no pain more. swollen on and of and start have some rash sign in ankle to knee area look like ant bite. now start not taken meth anymore. anybody knows how to treat this and what type of medicine cant take if smoke meth. thank you

justin said at January 22, 2014 1:27 AM:

Ive used meth for 14 years , the past 4 years ive tried to quit. This past year on july 7 2013 I quit ive relapsed. 2 sense then. I have the best family ever without them I wouldnt be where im at today.I have a good job ,a running vehicle, and a roof over my head. It all happen in the past 4 months of Quitting.its hard butt so worth it .I
Still cant sleep through the night cravings often. Its hard butt worth it .I cant go more than 4 months without relapsing.
I wish all u the best.....


vicky said at March 24, 2014 8:14 AM:

HELLO to my friends out there i am testifying about the good work of a man who help me it has been hell from the day my husband left me i am a woman with two kids my problem stated when the father of my kids travel i never help he was living but as at two weeks i did not set my eye on my husband i try calling but he was not taken my call some week he call me telling me that he has found love some where easy at first i never take to be serous but day after he came to the house to pick his things that was the time i notice that things is going bad i help he will come back but things was going bad day by day i needed to talk to someone about it so i went to his friend but there was no help so i give it up on him month later i met on the the internet a spell caster i never believe on this but i needed my men back so i gave the spell caster my problem at first i never trusted him so i was just doing it for doing sake but after three day my husband called me telling me that he his coming home i still do not believe but as at the six day the father to my kids came to the house asking me to for give him the spell work to said to my self from that day i was happy with my family thanks to the esango priest of (abamieghe)esango priest he his a great man you need to try him you can as well to tell him your problem so that he can be of help to you his content email is this esangopriest@gmail.com indeed you are a priest thank you for making my home a happy home again. remember his email is esangopriest@gmail.com

Julia said at September 20, 2015 8:13 PM:

Hi all, my name is Julia and I am a recovering Meth addict. I have been clean almost a year after about a year and a half of using. I am very conflicted right now because all of a sudden I feel as if I was back on it. I am in that busy mind state. I also feel not all here.... is there any explanation to this? I started feeling this way when I snuck out of my room one night to spend the night at a boys house. (I am 17 years old) we stayed up all night and cleaned his room. The next night I spent the night again and again stayed up all night. Maybe is it that I am doing unacceptable things such as sneaking out and staying up all night like I would do while on drugs? Is this tricking my brain into believing I was back on Meth? Please help. (:

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